Jul

18

Bank robberies

July 18, 2009 posted by indiatime | 1 Comment

Yesterday, the Reserve Bank of India, responding to consumer complaints, has upped the ante on the banks to become accountable for delays in returning the erroneous ATM fees charged in cases of incomplete the particular transactions. Henceforth, the banks will have to re-credit the erroneously charged amounts within less than 12 days, even in cases of third-party ATMs. And those banks that don’t do so, will now end up paying their customers Rs 100 per day.

Almost every Indian who has ever opened account in an Indian bank, has more than a few painful memories and at least some bitter banking experience. Directives like yesterday’s will go a long way towards assuring bank customers that it is okay to deposit money in Indian banks.

Recently, a non-resident Indian (NRI) family that lives in the US but still has multiple bank accounts in Mumbai, allowed me in on their enlightening experience with a major bank in Mumbai. A while ago, this family put a substantial sum of money in a fixed deposit scheme with a famous government-owned bank in Mumbai. An year later, an emergency came up, and the family needed their cash back from the bank. At first, the bank gave them various excuses and told them about the hefty penalties for withdrawing out of the fixed deposit scheme.

‘We understand‘, said the family, ‘just take your darn fees and give us the rest of our money back‘.

‘We could have done that a year ago, but it is now almost impossible after the 26/11‘, said the bank, ‘we cannot be sure who is a terrorist or not and who has money deposited in here‘.

‘But we are not terrorists and this is our hard-earned money that we put into your stupid fixed deposit scheme‘, begged the family.

‘Well, there is one way we can give your money back‘, relented the bank - ‘We will still have to keep your money as collateral, but we will give you a loan based on that fixed deposit‘.

Realizing they weren’t getting their money from this famous bank, the family tried their luck with another major bank where they had money deposited around the same time a while back. So they visited the branch office where they had the account. ‘We cannot locate your papers‘, came back the branch manager, ‘our whole basement got flooded two years ago, and we lost quite a bit of paperwork in that‘.

Realizing they weren’t getting their money back from this second bank, they finally went back to their original neighborhood bank, a famous regional name. And then, to their horror, they found that their account had been making utility payments for their next-door neighbors to their empty apartment in Mumbai. ‘How did this happen‘, they asked the manager. ‘Well, we recently upgraded our computer systems, and looks like your neighbor also lives in the same building, and shares the same building number‘, answered the manager.

‘What are you going to do‘, I asked my friends a few months ago. ‘Well, we have definitely learnt from our mistakes and now have our money in the Bank of America branch across the street from our house‘, said my friend.

Two days ago, I sent them this news article about a Bank of America customer who was charged $23 quadrillion (an amount that is almost 50,000 times the world GDP) for a pack of cigarettes.

Jul

6

The annual budget presentation is probably India’s most watched and awaited parliamentary session. This morning, watching an old, inarticulate parliamentarian stutter and stumble and wipe his runny nose through numerical magic dust, I wondered when and how India’s citizens will demand to be taken a little bit more seriously. Spicing his ridiculous numbers presentation with words like ‘common man’, ‘farmers’, ‘rural schemes’ and ‘govertment’ (I know, it’s not a typo, the finance minister can’t say ‘government’), India’s 73-year old finance minister reportedly failed to evoke much response from the financial markets.

Rivaling the lukewarm market response, was the response from his own partymen siting next to him. With the prime minister Singh on his left and the party supremo Sonia on his right, the finance minister failed to get a traction on either neighbor’s emotions. I agree the bar is raised ridiculously high with the prime minister who sometimes makes Bollywood’s tragedy kings look like the greatest comedians of the day. But even the party’s cheerleader couldn’t hide her sheepish, almost guilty-faced response at her party’s disappointing practice of appointing long-time party faithfuls to the highest posts in the land.

But the real cue for the stock market could have come from the man sitting behind the finance minister. I think his continuous nose-picking kept distracting the market-watchers from digesting some of the nuances in the budget, and it surely turned off most housewives and young and old women.

The budget had nothing major that would show leadership or bold initiatives, and it didn’t have anything major for those who really needed some instant relief. It was the same-old same-old with some fringe frills and idiotic promises like halving poverty by half. An additional thousands-plus crores to the commonwealth games (which will need a few more thousand crores during the next budget), 100% tax deduction on political donations, and a $2 per day wage promise certainly did not make the budget a ‘common man’s budget.

As the old man went through his ill-rehearsed disaster, one saw little leadership, little novelty, little eloquence, and little hope. The road ahead looked dark and dreary, a little more like the potholed roads of Indian cities, with everyone stumbling and stuttering their way through. The speech ended after what seemed like eternity, eventually clearing way for Bollywood and Cricket news. Naked hips occupied the screen, moments ago soiled by runny political noses. “Beedi Jalai Le….” (light my cigarette), moaned the beauty on the screen. “…Did he have anything about cigarette tax….”, asked my neighbor who, for his own reasons, likes to watch big news items on my TV instead of his own. “…Not sure…I missed that part…”, I said.

“So what do you think, how is the market gonna take this”, high-pitched an excited soul who obviously couldn’t wait to call me after the thrilling budget session. Watching the TV screen, I imagined the finance minister doing the item song instead of the Bollywood damsel. “Down, down, no way but down”, I told him. “You’re a genius”, he called me back after an hour.

Jun

24

Recently, the Reserve Bank of India issued a fake currency detection drive, when it noticed counterfeit versions of several denominations all over India. Just a few days, workers receiving wages at a government project found out that the cash handed out for their hard labor turned out to be fake currency. There have been reports of millions of fake paper denominations in circulation, especially the thousand rupee note.

Here are a few basic ways to find out if that Rs 1000 in your hand is a genuine or a fake. Look at the side that has Gandhi’s picture, and study the paper bill holding it horizontally at eye level.

1000 rupees security features

1. On the left side, there is a big watermark area that shows you Gandhi’s picture in black and white, with lines going off in many directions.

2. Several portions of the paper bill have raised prints (intaglio prints) - Gandhi’s picture on the right side, the circular bank seal below and to the right of that picture, the governor’s signature near bottom center and the words above it, the three lions (Ashoka pillar emblem) near the bottom left.

3. To the right of the Gandhi image on the right, is a wide vertical band. When held at eye level, it will show the numbers 1000 written from the bottom to the top.

4. A windowed vertical thread with inscriptions saying ‘bharat’ (in Hindi), ‘1000′ & ‘RBI’.

5. A raised print of a diamond shape to the left of the Gandhi watermark and below the floral shape.

6. A floral shape that exactly matches a similar shape on the other side of the paper bill, when held against light

7. Blue & green color shift that shows the numbers 1000 in the middle in green when the paper bill is held flat, but in blue when held at an angle.

8. Apart from these simple seven measures, you can also see the fluorescent serial numbers on top right and scattered optical fibers around those, when seen in uv light.

9. Another simple check is the size of the 1000 Rupees (177mm x 73mm).

10. And the simplest check of all is to make sure the Gandhi image is the good old Mohandas Gandhi and not one of his less deserving namesakes.

Jun

8

Move over Bernard Madoff, the now famous 50-billion dollar Ponzi fraudster from United States. Ahmedabad’s Manbai Rathod, a 60-year illiterate woman, is now turning out to be the brain behind a smarter financial scam, a scheme that duped tens of thousands all across India. Whereas Madoff promised a steady 10%-plus return, Manbai Rathod and her nephew promised a whopping 300% return over investment. And unlike Madoff, the Indian scamsters told investors to come back and collect their tripled wealth in days or weeks. What’s more, they delivered. For a while, that is.

Manbai Rathod and her nephew Ashok Jadeja are now the prime accused behind an investment scam that is said to have reached incredible proportions. Says The Times of the fraudulent scheme that lured many people across India,

…While some pawned jewellery and valuables, others halted construction of their dream house, some took a large sum on loan while others cheated on their husbands to lay their hands on some money….

The ‘money-tripling’ scheme initially targeted specific communities, Chharas and Sansis, promising them unimaginable riches. People from these communities were told that Sikodar Goddess (Sikodar Devi Mata) had blessed one Ashok Jadeja who was now willing to share the secret with the people from these communities. Soon, tipsters tipped the scale with people within and from outside these communities taking the goddess’s blessings way too seriously and handing over their bank accounts. With promises of their money doubling, tripling and quadrupling, gullibles all across the country gave in to their greed, pouring everything they had into Ashok Jadeja’s investment fund. The skeptics saw their neighbors doubling and tripling their monies in weeks and they too then, turned eager gullibles, pawning their smarts for the moneymaking opportunity of a lifetime.

Jadeja’s scheme was much simpler than his Wall Street counterparts, however. Jadeja and his wife sat outside a temple and financial devotees lined up and handed him their life savings. The devotees then came back after a few days to collect their now-doubled or tripled wealth. The easy money-tripling scheme spread like wildfire across many Indian states, from the western shores of Gujarat all the way to the eastern islands of Andaman and Nicobar, including Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh, Delhi, Uttar Pradesh, and Himachal Pradesh. Investors from Pakistan got into the act as well, expanding Jadeja’s reach beyond India’s borders.

Those smart-alecs who actually did manage to double their money and did not reinvest back into the scam, their riches will soon be confiscated by India’s police who are now going through fraudster Jadeja’s lists.

You would think all those devotees and victims who succumbed to the Sikodar Goddess financial scandal, would now be crying prayers to Goddess Kali, hoping that the famed demon-killer vanquish Rathod, Jadeja and their buddies. Instead, many of the scam victims - men, women and children, recently attempted mass suicide by sleeping on the railway tracks.

Jun

5

Richest Indians in American towns

June 5, 2009 posted by indiatime | 6 Comments

In his new book, ‘The Richest Man in Town’, W. Randall Jones, the founder of the financial lifestyle magazine Worth, writes about the richest individuals in 100 American towns. The book looks only at the richest person in a particular town, not the second or the third-richest. So some very rich individuals have been left out, just because there was a richer individual living in the same town.

Researching all these successful individuals, Jones found 12 common traits, attributes he calls his 12 commandments of wealth :

1. Don’t seek money for money’s sake
2. Find your perfect niche
3. Be your own boss
4. Get addicted to ambition
5. Be early
6. Execute or get executed
7. Fail so you can succeed
8. Location doesn’t matter
9. Don’t compromise your morals
10. Embrace selling
11. Learn from the best and the worst
12. Never retire

There are three Indian-Americans who figure in this unique book. They are not the richest Indian in the United States, but are surely the richest in the towns they live in. And they definitely seem to be practising the commandments of wealth common to this elite group.

Brothers Karthik and Guha Bala are the richest people in their town of Albany, NY. Co-founders of Vicarious Visions, a video-game powerhouse, they have created over 100 video games, selling more than 20 million units. The Bala brothers founded their company while in high school, a childhood dream that began in their family basement.

The other richest Indian in an American town is Bharat Desai, the richest man in two different towns - Fisher Island, Florida and Troy, Michigan. With a net worth of close to $2 billion, Desai is the founder of Syntel, a company he founded about 30 years ago, now said to be employing a workforce of almost 12,000. Desai’s company provides IT services to corporations, and has a huge workforce that is based out of India.

May

26

The payoff of stability

May 26, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

With Indians electing to elect the same government, the word about India’s political stability is out in the international investor community who now believe India to be one of the few bright spots to make a fast buck. It’s not that there aren’t any other bright spots at the end of the recession tunnel elsewhere. But with an impressive 28% registered returns for the month of May so far, India has made an impressive showing which was almost 4 times that of China and about 50 times some of developed markets around the world.

Some analysts are calling it the beginning of the super bull market for India. Most global fund managers who have put in their trust in the upswing of the world markets for later this year, are betting on India’s recent upsurge that began a few weeks before the national elections and has continued in the wake of the political stability following it.

Also helping India are the numbers showing its continuing leadership in the offshore arena, with the competing countries only managing to cut a very tiny slice of India’s share. And although some investors continue to worry about of the uncertainty over currency exchange rates, India’s upswing is expected to drive large chunks of investments towards the Indian market, at least until some of the other major markets do not start showing healthier returns.

So make hay while the sun shines folks. Barring an unforeseen crisis, the next few months promise to make the India investor a lot of money. And knowing that the global funds are impatient for some solid returns, this window of time, at least the next few months, might mean real happy days for India Inc.

Apr

9

Covering their assets

April 9, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

Several Indian politicians have been filing their nomination papers for this month’s parliamentary elections. The interesting part of those nomination papers are these politicians’ net assets/ net worth income figures. This is the only time that India’s public is allowed a distant peek into the financial folders of the ruling elite.

Whether it is the nomination filed today by the opposition leader L. K. Advani or the one filed by the ruling party supremo Mrs. Sonia Gandhi the other day, or several others that have been filed over the last week or so, some common surprizes do stand out.

1. Most of these politicians do not own cars:
That’s not that surprizing since they don’t even need to buy private cars, and have been using publicly funded luxury private transportation for years, or decades in many cases.

2. Most politicians have very little cash on hand:
Because many of them do not need to purchase small or big ticket items at their own expense.

3. Most seem to have net worths around a couple crore rupees - anywhere from a quarter to a couple million dollars. Fact is, except a handful of them, most of India’s politicians have never held any real jobs in their lives. And based on their parliamentarian salaries, it would take them a truly long time to amass fortunes in even that modest range.

4. Most show some or other inheritance
Since not much money can be shown to have been made, most of the politicians will manage to show some inheritance.

5. The spouses’ net worth
It is customary to show the spouses having made an equivalent or sometimes a little greater amount than the politicking half. This is strange since most politicians’ wives are supposedly homemakers.

6. Real estate
Most of India’s politicians have real estate assets worth billions if not millions. The politicians have managed this by opening up educational institutes in their names, gaining huge land grants, rezoning green zones, and charging tens of thousands of dollars worth of fees per seat in such educational institutes.

7. Using proxies
Many politicians are known to use proxies or agents who manage the money matters for them. These aren’t portfolio managers, but people who are adept at shielding the politicians from any paperwork. A few years ago, a big shot money mover like this was arrested by the custom agents at the Mumbai airport, but was personally escorted out of the police custody by a top cabinet level minister of that state.

8. Switzerland
Most Indian politicians have secret/numbered accounts in Swiss banks. It is estimated that Swiss banks hold about one and a half trillion dollars worth of Indian money. A CCTV camera at the Zurich airport could truly unravel a lot of hidden money mysteries for India.

9. Most senior level administrative officials have a lot more than a few million dollars stashed away. It is inconceivable that their masters would settle for less, allowing the ‘babus’ to run away with the country’s loot.

10. A decent mid-sized apartment in India’s top metros can nowadays cost about a crore rupees. If most politicians have worths in that range, there must be some black hole someplace that is sucking up all the money the Indian public has been paying under the table for all these years.

Mar

2

The enigma, the optimism and the economy

March 2, 2009 posted by indiatime | 6 Comments

The New York Times is wondering why, while the rest of the world grapples with a terrible financial crisis, India seems to be maintaining a sense of calm and optimism. With country after country reporting a shrinking economy, India seems to be making unexpectedly positive news - with Rolls Royce introducing new models, BMW introducing new showrooms, and new cellphone users equal to the population of Netherlands just in the month of January alone.

There is little doubt even in most Indians’ minds that their country is an enigma hard to comprehend and difficult to understand. In fact, most who study India, are perplexed and baffled about India’s ways and means. It’s a country full of surprizes, contradictions, and paradoxes. Slumdogs, bloodhounds, and peacocks. Colors, flavors, and sounds.

Economists are said to attribute India’s resilience to its ‘youthful population, domestic demand, and business innovation’. The third of those three is a lie that won’t hide for long. There is little innovation going on, in business, universities or elsewhere. The part of youthful population may be true but is of little consequence when it comes to age-old resilience. Centuries of invasions, monarchies and occupations have made India a tolerant and a patient country where, until late, materialistic expectations were but a privilege of the few and much of the population was just happy to be able to survive.

That leaves domestic demand as the one and only reasonable explanation for India’s seeming resilience. With one-fifth of the world’s consumers living in India, there is little wonder that the Indian economy, although hard hit, keeps chugging along. It’s like that old principle of inertia where objects in motion will find it hard to come to a grinding halt (unless the odometer was tampered with to begin with). By the time the screeching sounds of a tattering economy make it to our ears, the worldwide recession will be close to making a 180 and India will once again, have astonished its foes and pleased its complimenters.

In a few weeks from now, the world’s largest electioneering spectacle will be center stage in India, a wondrous exercise in logistics, a mindbending game where a billion Indians will choose the next batch of crooks and liars who will promise to boost India’s economic engines and make its merry-go-rounds whirl and send Indians to Mars and Venus. I wonder if the average Indian worries about those things. Although the faces on the streets of Mumbai and Delhi and Kolkata and Chennai seem a little concerned, there is this enigmatic smile on each of those faces. If I didn’t know better, I might even have called it idiotic.

Feb

27

Ethics alert for India Inc.

February 27, 2009 posted by indiatime | 1 Comment

There is growing concern in India about President Obama’s singling out the American corporations that currently outsource to India. That decision has more to do with the current economic crisis and less to do with the havoc wreaked by Indian companies like Satyam. Still, the list of Indian companies showing up on the malpractice radar seems to be growing every month, threatening to malign India’s hard-earned stature as a reliable trade partner.

Early last month, Satyam Computers, one of the biggest names in India’s IT outsourcing world, became synonymous with fraud and falsification when its CEO confessed to cheating on company’s books.

Earlier this month, several Indian-origin owners of American companies were arrested for H-1B visa fraud. The arrests marked but a drop in the bucket in the H-1B visa malpractice routinely being carried out mostly by Indian consulting companies, ranging from falsifying documents to disrespecting labor laws.

In the area of Pharmaceutical outsourcing, Ranbaxy laboratories, the largest Indian drug manufacturer was recently found to have faked lab tests and data to seek approvals for its drugs. This week, the US Food & Drug Administration decided to end drug evaluations at Ranbaxy’s India plant, citing significant questions about the reliability of data.

Another pharmaceutical company called AM2PAT, this one based in North Carolina but owned by one Dushyant Patel, an Indian-American, is also in the news for selling lifesaving medicines mixed with sediment and debris. AM2PAT’s product quality was so screwed up that people had noticed food particles, among other things, in its heparin syringes. It has been revealed that this Indian American company’s chief microbiologist was a teenager who had dropped out of high school. AM2PAT president Dushyant Patel is absconding and has apparently fled to India.

Indian companies will not be booted out as many have feared, watching President Obama speak to the congress the other day. But Indians will need to be ready for thorough scrutiny, detailed diligence and tougher times ahead, thanks to the crooked corporations that have maligned the majority of Indian companies aspiring to expand their horizons. I think it may be comparatively easier to recover from IT and accounting malpractices, but areas such as pharmaceuticals would need to be very, very careful since any fatal negligence in that area can spell prolonged or even permanent doom for the rest of Indian companies in that field.

Feb

12

Infrastructure salvation and the returning NRI

February 12, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

An immigrant nation’s economy is reported to be tanking. Foreign workers are losing jobs fast. With the economy in free fall, cars once owned foreign workers are now seen abandoned at the airports, with notes of apology taped on the windscreen. With jobless people leaving in hoards, there are increasing housing vacancies fueling further real estate panic.

It’s happening in Dubai, of all the places, the place with most promise and potential than any other on the planet and the place where infrastructure public works project were not part of some future stimulus project but a day-to-day scene. The scene with foreign workers fleeing to the airports leaving their houses and cars and possessions behind, brings eerie memories of the post-internet-bubble commotion in North America, where thousands of Indian H-1B workers, many working for shady Indian consulting companies and technology body-shops, purchased one-way tickets to homeland and vanished without a trace.

That public works force returning home from middle east’s boomtowns, will be coming back with a wealth of knowledge and know-how, that is bound to go waste if not compiled, captured and documented properly. Typically in India, one would be looking to the government to seek a way to get such a thing done. But I see a huge opportunity for private entrepreneurs who are looking to build talented teams ready to take up infrastructure projects. Surely, all those man-years spent building hi-tech industrial projects using modern equipment, must mean something to a country like India that badly needs infrastructure upgrades in every corner of its geography.

So in spite of the global meltdown and even amidst the depressing and dire economic predictions, India’s economic reprieve will come from the fact that India hasn’t done much about its infrastructure so far. What has so far been a huge negative may surprisingly end up being India’s salvation. Unlike the west and the middle east where infrastructure initiatives fueled economies for decades, India’s century for infrastructural moxie may be about to begin.

Now if only there were a little less corruption and a little less politics and a little less cronyism and a little less greed. But then again, we do have a little less infrastructure. And that must count for something will all that homecoming talent and all this in-house expertise.

Jan

21

Back to business school? naahh…

January 21, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

The Times reports today that the job market slowdown is prompting executives to go back to school and get some value additions to their resumes and portfolios, readying them for a hopefully better job market in another few years. Executive management programs all over the country are reporting a 15-20% rise in number of applications, a significant portion of the workforce that is either laid off or just taking a break to make the most of the current downturn.

Here are some alternate ways to kill that downturn time without spending all your life savings so far:

1. Finding opportunities with social or non-profit work:
I know of several instances where laid off executives began working with non-profits just to keep busy and eventually found opportunities that benefited not just the non-profits they were working for, but also their own career paths. One of my former colleagues who was laid off a few years ago, turned her technical skills to help build a fundraising platform for a non-profit. While doing this work, she came in contact with the philanthropic arm of a industrial empire where she’s now been an advisor for several months. Another laid off colleague who helped recycle network equipment for a non-profit, hit upon a disposal idea for some of that recycled junk and created a business opportunity for himself.

2. Rekindling your entrepreneurial urge
One of the good things with the downturns is that they allow people who are otherwise busy to fill up their free time with entrepreneurial and creative thoughts. A group of my friends who had made and later lost some money in the internet bubble a few years ago, built a microbrewery business that is successful and moneymaking enough for them not to have worked ever since.

A couple I know used their sabbatical leaves to build a novel kindergarten school in their neighborhood. They were unhappy with the kindergarten schools nearby and thought they wanted to put their ideas into action. In a matter of 4 months, they had more than enough enrollment to begin a full-fledged kindergarten and neither of them returned to their workplaces.

Another executive friend, fed up with his mundane job and recently back from a trip abroad, put his money into starting a hip hair cutting salon and turned it into a moneymaking machine.

3. Building your health
Although this sounds like old advice, this is exactly what a close friend did after getting laid off. He had many health issues while he worked and many of us feared those health issues would exacerbate when he was fired. It was another 7 months before he found a new job, but during that time he reinvented himself healthwise. 7 months of consistent exercise, good sleep, home-cooked food, and quality time with his kids, worked like magic and I honestly believe that my friend has added at least 3-4 healthy years to his life.

4. Spending quality time with family
You can never go wrong with spending quality time with your parents, spouses, kids or friends (When people die, they do not remember moments from their workplace. But they do remember best times with their close ones). Two years ago, a friend and his wife decided to extend their family when the wife lost her job. Today, they are blessed with a beautiful one-year old daughter, and are the happiest they’ve ever been in their lives.

So why not play your cards right and build something worthwhile so you can employ some of those executive MBAs once they get out of those business schools?

Jan

16

Funny money

January 16, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

When the state of Zimbabwe introduced its first dollar in 1980, the value of that Zimbabwe dollar was one and a half times that of the US dollar. In less than 30 years, the Zimbabwean dollar has taken a path that, if you were riding that dollar bill as a rollercoaster, would have made you so dizzy your mamma wouldn’t have recognized you after the ride. Even Philips Kagan, the American economist who first spoke about hyperinflation (in the mid 1950s), would be shaking his head in wonderment at the ridiculous rate of inflation in Zimbabwe, which recently stood at quarter billion percent (231,000,000 %) and has been re-revised at around 500 quintillion % (billion times billions).

So Zimbabwe is now introducing a 100-trillion dollar currency note. A month ago, the exchange rate stood at 13 Quadrillion Zimbabwean dollars to one US dollar (one would still need more than a 100 100-trillion dollar notes to make it to one US dollar). A professor at the University of Rhodesia (his last name happens to be Rupiya) recently said that his country is surviving (if one can call it that) by printing money.

One of the questions I’ve always had since childhood was why poor countries didn’t just print more money and distribute it to their people so everyone can be wealthy and rich and there is no poverty anymore. Well, Zimbabwe seems to have introduced my childhood idea. The dollar-printing business has been going very well. So well in fact, that amongst all of that country’s businesses, the companies that are making any money at all are the companies in the business of printing dollars and transporting the huge amounts of dollar bills.

A famous Indian author once wrote a funny story about an Indian village that wakes up to crores of Rupees when a truck carrying Rupee notes overturns on the highway passing through that village. Within hours after the accident, every family in the village becomes millionaires with money stashed into flour and wheat and rice and inside religious books and everywhere. For the next few weeks, everybody in the village knows that everyone else is a millionaire, but nobody wants to spill the village secret and the whole village lives in a fog of wealth.

Colonial Zimbabwe missed out on India’s real secret however. Much before he began his campaign in India, Mahatma Gandhi initiated his peaceful movement in Africa. That movement totally failed to take roots in Zimbabwe. And where Indian bank notes today flaunt Gandhi’s face, Zimbabwean dollar has long lost its luster.

Jan

8

An ass riding a tiger

January 8, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

And for what?
For a little bit of money.
There’s more to life than money, you know.
Don’t you know that?…
And here ya are,
and it’s a beautiful day…

- Marge Gunderson (Fargo)

Satyam ex-chairman Raju who quit yesterday amidst a shamefully scandalous show and tell, after ruining thousands of lives and stealing billions, described his deceitful CEOship as riding a tiger without knowing how to get down. Raju’s weird gloat doesn’t do enough justice to the imagery of an egotist ass riding a wild tiger. An ass who thought too much of himself, made asses of everyone else, and above all of the country that put him on pedestal trusting him to be one of the pillars and pioneers of its technological odyssey.

Panchatantra, Vishnu Sharma’s famous 6th century book of fables, tells the story of a donkey who donned a tiger’s skin, hoping to get more food. This donkey, in tiger’s garb, would go to a wheat farm and ate all he could eat without fearing the farmer. But one day, hearing another donkey nearby, the donkey in tiger’s garb began braying, giving up his real identity. And then he got beat up for being a donkey.

Ramalinga Raju pretended to be somebody he wasn’t. And his investors pretended to be somebody they weren’t. At the end of the day, it’s hard to figure who the real donkey is here. Because company chairman Raju couldn’t jump off of his tiger. And the investor wouldn’t jump off of his tiger in spite of numerous warnings, reports and indicators of high profile investigations, international lawsuits, resignations, speculative biddings and buying sprees and most of all unbelievable cronyism.

There are more than enough take-home lessons here, but today I will stick to the one brought out by the Panchatantra story. To not pretend to be what one is not. And I don’t mean that for the chairman. I won’t shed a single tear if he is beat up. I mean it for the investor. Try to stay close to what you know about. It’s easier to track the deluge of information in an area you are already aware of than in an area that you don’t know a thing about and have to take someone else’s word for.

Jan

6

The scent of money

January 6, 2009 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

Reading about some tough and bearish predictions about India’s stock market in 2009, I couldn’t help thinking how unpredictable the Indian scenario really is. Unpredictable it may be, but I do not believe it is as gloomy as some would think it is.

Most of the current assessments are based on the usual suspects such as high P/E ratios, high P/B ratios, low dividends, market capitalizations to GDP ratios, decline in foreign capital inflow, etc. Add to that uncertainties with the political climate, impending elections, war on terror, winter fog, and what not. Then add all the negative news about potential decline in outsourcing jobs to the US. For most investors, that is definitely not the rosy scenario they have been used to for last few years.

I am, however, going to predict a much more positive picture for the Indian market. Partly because I believe the global downturn accords India some unique possibilities and opportunities that were never encountered before. And partly because I believe the Indian market is more resilient than most foreign markets because of the Indian investor.

Where foreign experts predict uncertainty due to an election year, I want to stress that this election year will bring another round of democratically elected government, once again asserting India’s political stability even in the midst of geopolitical uncertainties in the subcontinent. No matter how concerned the foreign investors are at this moment, there aren’t many places else where smart foreign investors would rather be than here.

Are the Indian investors up for a few heart attacks? Sure, they are. But those who have not put their eggs in one basket, and those who have left some liquid assets that can suffice for a year or so, will find that bear markets like these are goldmines if you learn to find your nuggets. I bet you there are more than a few of those nuggets in the Indian market today. Take some time to make your mind up with the sector that you understand a little about.

Within the next year, I plan to make you aware of some of those nuggets. I also plan to make you aware of your own potential as innovators and inventors and ways to go about executing those plans. We’ll talk about ideas, business plans, venture firms, all that exciting stuff. We’ll also talk about individual finances, credit cards, and ways to beat the credit demons. I promise not to make it a boring, number-crunching exercise. And I promise not to indulge in any unethical bank-breaking ideas. And along the way, we’ll also talk about giving and philanthropy, which is an absolutely essential habit for everyone.

Oct

14

10 things to do before writing a suicide note

October 14, 2008 posted by indiatime | 11 Comments

Within days of a non-resident Indian family in Los Angeles losing all six members of the household to a despondent father’s burst of violence, yet another family of 4 from Mumbai, chose to end their lives, frustrated and unable to cope with the rising mountain of debt.

Suchitra Nair, a former deputy general manager at BHEL (46), and her engineer brother Sudhir (42), were found in their Borivli, Mumbai apartment, hanging to the ceiling fans. Before they ended their lives, they killed their elderly parents, father A. K. Nair (81) and mother Shyamal (70). The cause of death? Bills from 72 credit cards and other credit lenders. It is not known if the Nair family was receiving any threats from any of their lenders, or if it was a path they chose to take before things came to that. India’s banks, including some very famous names, have been known in the past to have worked with rogue agencies that threaten or beat customers up if the customers defaulted on their payments.

Many of us have at times, reached a point, where nothing seems to work, there’s just no lucky break, the prayers aren’t working, the friends aren’t helping, and there is just no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel. Folks, here are the ten things you should do before starting to write your suicide note.

1. Before starting to scribble why you want to die, I want you to write something else. Make a list of ten things, in your past or present, that made your life special. It could be a list of good friends, happy moments, sweet memories, anything. Could be the first time your spouse smiled a shy smile looking at you, or the first time your baby kid called your name. Could be the exquisite taste of your grandma’s cooking, or the gourmet flavor coming from the tea-stall across the street. Ten things in no particular order. Write then down.

2. Now that you are one step closer to starting with that suicide note, take a few moments to make a list of 5 people you would love to call before dying. You are about to say goodbye to the planet in a short while, and it is only a matter of courtesy that you should call 5 people who have meant a lot to you. Could be a teacher from your primary school or a distant aunt or uncle who pampered you. Could be a neighbor who helped you last year, or your domestic servant who was always there for you. Tell them why they have meant a lot to you. Tell them life has been worth living all these years because of people like them. Don’t be stingy with words. You’re going away anyways. You have to be nice only for a short while now.

3. Life has been a bitch. And its not worth living anymore. Fine. Before you end it, make a list of 5 people whose lives you think you made a difference to. If you can’t think of any names, start with your parents’ names. You may not know it, but you once brought much joy and happiness to their lives. It is a fact. Put your childhood buddy’s name, your family members’ names, and your nephews & nieces you used to buy those toys for.

4. We’re getting closer to the suicide note, but not just yet. Bear with me here. Since it’s time to go away for good, think of 5 things you would want to feast on before disappearing from the planet. Even death row inmates get this privilege. So make a list of 5 tasty things you would want to eat. Since we have no money, there is no reason to worry about how much that feast is going to cost.

5. Before we take a break, make a list of 5 places on the planet that you would have loved to visit before leaving the planet. Taj Mahal, Kerala, Goa? Maybe the pyramids, or the Niagara falls? How about Disney World or Las Vegas? We are just dreaming away here, so no need to be skimpy. Once you make that list, take a few minutes break. This whole thing is very tiring.

6. OK. You’re probably thinking this isn’t going anywhere. Alright. Why don’t we make a list of all our financial assets? Anything that is convertible to money. Home, vehicles, books, old newspapers, anything. Whatever it comes to is still yours and nobody has taken it away yet.

7. Have you really asked everybody who could have helped you out in this situation? If you think you have, then have you posted a message on the internet asking total strangers to help you out? Yeah, why not post a comment on say, this post, asking people for help. If you can prove that you are genuinely needy, there will always be somebody whose heart will melt just a bit for you. Instead of asking one friend to bail you out, talk to 20 friends and ask for a little bit from each. Forget the honor and swallow the pride for a moment. You can win all that honor back if you manage to live another day.

8. Post a comment on community sites, call a radio show, talk to someone and tell them that you are distraught. You will be surprised to find that those strangers are in worse situations and still able to survive.

9. Stay away from alcohol. I repeat, do not touch alcohol if you are in no mood to enjoy it. If life is really slipping you by and if these really are your last moments here, you don’t want to be drunk, do you?

10. Still thinking of that note, eh? Step out of your home, and beg the first human being that you see to smack you from left to right and right to left until you come to your senses. You will be surprised to know that you are not the only one suffering from economic crisis. I, too, have no money, my friend (didn’t you see the google ads on the right?).

As for being worried about the lenders and the banks threatening you, put that fear away. What can they threaten you with? Your life? But you were just about to take it yourself, remember? Now take a cold shower, go find a job and kick some ass.

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