Aug

17

India’s moral compass

August 17, 2009 posted by indiatime | 12 Comments

Epidemics, communal discontent, dirty politics, reality television, bollywood and cricket. That would have been my stock answer to anyone asking me about the current state of the Indian union. But a state of the nation poll by CNN-Hindustan Times, has results that may surprise many. India’s moral compass, the survey concludes, is somewhere in between taboo and modernity, and that there are a lot of ifs and buts in the Indian concept of freedom and personal liberty.

The following results pertain to those who were surveyed, but do show a slice and sample of Indian minds without any supposed survey bias.

1. 73% Indians feel homosexuality should be considered illegal

2. 79% Indians feel that rape and sexual harassment are linked to the way women dress

3. 41% Indians feel there should be a dress code in public

4. 59% Indians believe people should be free to wear what they want

5. 56% Indians believe it is untrue that women cannot undertake tough tasks

6. 67% Indians think women make better bosses at the workplace

7. 60% Indians regard homosexuality as a disease

8. 63% Indian men believe bride’s virginity is not an issue for them

9. 69% Indians support schools banning students from wearing Western clothes

10. 69% Indian men would feel uncomfortable if their wife or sister works till late in office.

The specter of modernity vs morality was best represented by a dramatic exchange between Sambhavana Seth, one of Bollywood’s many vamps and Baba Ramdev, Indian TV’s yoga guru and herbal doctor-general to the nation. Here’s the interesting exchange:

Sambhavna Seth: I don’t find anything wrong with gays. My friend is gay. I will send him to your ashram. It remains to be seen if you can cure him. Let’s hope you don’t become one.

Baba Ramdev: Gays are mentally sick and I do not support them. I can never change. And I have cured all major illnesses, including cancer.

Sambhavna Seth: Why are you always talking about sex and sambhog? Where did you learn all this?

Baba Ramdev: (Stays mum)

Sambhavna Seth: Is your beard and hair natural? Do you colour them?

Baba Ramdev: They are absolutely natural.

Sambhavna Seth: I have immense respect for you but I don’t agree with everything that you say.

Baba Ramdev: Thank you.

Actually, I am not a fan of either of these two. I am not much for Sambhavan’s gyroscope and I don’t believe Baba is the only one who knows where India’s north star is. But I think these two magnetic personalities perfectly embody the two extremes of India’s moral compass. As much as it may appear to be all skewed and screwed, to those on this side of the planet, the current moral state of the union seems to be a topic that is desirably more chewable than manikchand jarda. Cheers to all the corrupt bastards and happy immoralizing until the next moral survey.

Aug

12

The sunny side of swine flu season

August 12, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

Swine flu, the epidemic that has lately been ravaging India, is said to be a little uncomfortable with warmer climates. Yesterday, when India’s health minister was tauting India’s early efforts in successfully stemming the swine flu tide, most Indians knew that the slow early uptick in swine flu infections had little to do with governmental interventions and a lot more to do with the much hotter summer climate of a few months ago. With temperatures across India dropping down several degrees, H1N1, having survived the early shock of India’s heat, seems to have come back with a vengeance.

That also means H1N1’s days in India are limited. Sure, there will be many more victims at the rising rates being reported daily. But October is around the corner and having never lived in India, H1N1 has no idea what it’s in for. In fact, October heat in India is at times much harsher and much inhabitable for most living things. It is a lot harder to take than the hot summers that Indians have always been used to. And hiding in between a comfortable post-summer fall and the cooler breezes of November, October stands like a mean-spirited bully that won’t budge.

This year though, India can’t wait for October to be here. Watching innocents die day after day, of a flu that none of us had ever heard about, having nothing to do with pig farming, and having to suffer for some other civilization’s dietary and hygiene habits, none of it all makes any sense. But then again, nothing ever last for ever, and so won’t this deadly swine flu season. Some have recently suggested that even planet earth’s days in the universe are almost over.

But you and I may not have to wait for that to see the end of swine flu. A few more rotations of planet earth will tilt the planet just enough to drive swine flu out of its comfort zone here in India. Six more weeks. And the normally unwelcome October will find many takers this time around. And then we’ll here the health minister once again, speaking about how the government’s policies made H1N1 run away with its tail between its legs. And thus will begin yet another political season.

Jul

23

News from India’s animal world

July 23, 2009 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

A day in the life of India’s animals:

1. Overhead crows foil man’s escape from prison
Sanajid Middha’s plans to escape from the Alipore jail apparently went perfect until the crows over and around the jail decided against it. Middha escaped from his own cell and survived the overnight search by the prison police. But he ended giving his hiding spot up, when a murder of crows up in the sky noticed him hiding in the bushes and started pecking at him. It was almost early morning by the time the escapee climbed atop the prison roof and a guard preparing to hoist the national flag noticed movement on the roof, ending Middha’s night of freedom.

2. Stray snake adjourns Orissa state parliament
Yesterday, a king cobra scared the parliament members of Orissa state into emptying the assembly house, when a janitor alerted the parliament guards about the snake in the parliament. The poisonous snake was spotted right near chief minister Naveen Patnaik’s chair, prompting adjournment of the ongoing activities, and forcing all the parliament members to sit atop their chairs as the officials from the forest department tried to tackle the terror. It is believed the the snake went away on its own and wa never captured.

3. British company introduces foreign mosquitoes ot tackle Indian mosquitoes
A British company is about to introduce an experimental mosquito program in India. To tackle the mosquito menace in India, the company plans to introduce mosquitoes from Africa that have been genetically altered in the laboratory. The genetic alteration is supposed to have made the African mosquitoes sterile, but the scientists from ICMR (Indian Council of Medical Research) have expressed fear that random mutations might make the African mosquitoes fertile again, worsening the mosquito menace in the country.

Jul

16

The Associated Press is reporting about a simulation experiment by Russian scientists where six men endured three and a half months cramped inside a small metal box without windows. The experiment was meant to test human endurance for long interplanetary journeys such as a visit to Mars. The 6 participants didn’t have television or any other entertainment, but had limited access to emails with a 20-minute delayed communication to the outside world.

But the conditions inside the small metal box may not have been as bad as they sound. Each man had his own private cabin, with access to a common gym and a common garden. There were specially prepared meals and access to modern toilets as in the latest spacecrafts. And each participant received almost $21,000 (close to Rs 10 lakhs) for completing the ‘difficult’ mission. Coming out of the box, the study’s participants talked about the isolation from loved ones, and isolation from nature as the hardest things they had endured.

Ha! If this is what it takes to go to Mars, more than half of India’s population would qualify in a heartbeat. They live in conditions worse than and smaller than the Russian experiment’s container. They don’t have toilets, let alone gyms or gardens. They don’t have private cabins and there aren’t ready-made nutritious meals. And most of them will never see Rs 10 lakhs even if they save everything they make throughout their lifetimes.

When it comes to matters of endurance, the rest of the world better take backseat to a majority of our population. And unlike the fake experiment where the participants knew they would get out of their misery after a specific time frame, majority of Indians have endured worse hardships day in day out, for decades. No electricity, dirty water, no sanitation facilities, incredible debt burdens, casteism, racism, sexism, you name it, they’ve faced it.

People say that India’s space scientists are fast catching up with the Europeans and the Russians and the Americans. Long before they were even close, India’s population has always demonstrated the ‘right stuff’, and has always had the extraordinary survival skills necessary for interplanetary journeys and hostile environmental conditions. Most of Mumbai’s population could probably straphang to Mars or go without water or baths for days on long interplanetary journeys. Most farmers’ families could go days without food while on a trip to Jupiter or Saturn. And most Indians would qualify very well for journeys that test togetherness amongst the most diverse group of individuals who come from different ethnicities, languages, cultures, religions, traditions, and still have to live inside a small chambers for a what can seem like a lifetime.

Jul

1

Political bridges over troubled waters

July 1, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

When Mumbai’s first sea-link bridge opened up for traffic yesterday, like everything else in India, it opened up new political avenues and inroads. Sharad Pawar, the local leader and also the agriculture minister at the center, stole the first opportunity to announce that the bridge be named after slain former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi. That he did so sitting next to Rajiv’s widow Sonia Gandhi, the most powerful political leader in India, wasn’t mere coincidence.

Pawar’s generous gesture may keep his coalition partners at bay for a while, but local and regional opponents are up in arms against the naming of the new sea bridge. They had plans to name the bridge after Veer Sawarkar, a revered patriot who once jumped off a ship near France, almost pulling off a miraculous escape on sea.

But then Pawar is trying to pull of his own miraculous escape, especially in the wake of recent election defeats for his party’s leaders and those murder charges against his close aide and brother-in-law Padmasingh Patil. He is getting back into the game, hoping to score a few, trying to rebuild yet another bridge over the troubled and hot political waters that he and his party are in.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.

If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind.

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

- Bridge over Troubled Water (Simon and Garfunkel)

Jun

28

Testosterone and mercury, in a tropical tango

June 28, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

A recent study by University of Minnesota scientists has concluded that humans and animals delay reproduction when resources are scarce, living longer as a result. “..Food scarcity is a signal that population is likely to decline, so reproduction is delayed..”, concluded the study. The study also cited fluctuations in testosterone levels as an example of how the environment and organisms interact to guide reproduction.

To me, those conclusions don’t seem to hold water here in India. The natural resources, including food and water have been scarce for a long time in this part of the planet. Starved or satiated, urban or rural, northerners or southerners, hungry or thirsty, literate or illiterate, Indians over last several centuries, seem to have had very high levels of testosterone levels. In fact, scarcer the resources, higher was the reproducing rate, sending the population over a billion, dwarfing the rest of the planet in reproduction rates.

But why just humans, even animal behavior in India pretty much thwarts the Minnesota study. Stray animals and urban pigeons, seemingly fighting for scant resources, seem to be reproducing at astonishing rates all over India, especially in big cities where resources would be expected to be scarcer.

And in those same big cities, the human population, fighting for water that shows up at their taps only a few minutes per day and standing in long lines over pretty much everything else, doesn’t seem to mind that scarcity. No matter what the conditions, people don’t seem to be able to keep it in their pants.

But that’s a fact that scientists from colder regions just can’t understand, I think. Up there in Minnesota, with the outside temperatures dipping close to zero, the scientific imagination seems to shrink a bit, probably because of a brain freeze. Here in the hot and humid tropics, testosterone and mercury seem to be in a perpetual embrace, doing a hot sexy tango. Add a dash of scarcity to the heat and you really can’t tell between humans and animals.

Jun

25

Top 10 ways India is battling rain crisis

June 25, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

India, this month, is facing a huge water crisis because of the delayed monsoon winds that usually show up in the first week of June, but have failed to arrive this year, throwing all economic predictions to the winds. But India’s government and people are readying for the crisis, handling it in a way only they can. Here are the top 10 things that are being done to address the water crisis.

1. Y S Rajasekhara Reddy (aka YSR), The chief minister of the state of Andhra Pradesh has ordered all temples, mosques and churches to conduct special prayers to attract the monsoon winds.

2. The irrigation officials from the same state of Andhra Pradesh are trying a different route. They have begun a new irrigation scheme named after none other than YSR, the chief minister of the state. If you are wondering if that would make the rain Gods jealous, the farmers from the state have in fact built a temple deitifying the chief minister where people have been offering prayers to the chief minister.

3. The government of the state of Madhya Pradesh is also doing everything it can to bring rains to the state. The chief minister of this state has ordered ancient fire rituals and has brought in expert priests from the neighboring Maharashtra state. The state’s citizens too, are doing their bit by offering milk, curd, sugar, ghee and honey to Lord Shiva.

4. The state of Karnataka may get some relief if the state’s chief minister’s prayers are answered. He was recently seen visiting the neighboring state of Tamilnadu, offering prayers at the Lord Nataraja temple in Tamil Nadu’s Chidambaram and Kumbakonam, and Lord Saneeswarar temple in Puducherry.

5. Goa is doing its bit by offering prayers to St Anthony. Mascarenhas, a local historian, recalled the local tradition where people ascend the hills to the crosses atop, carrying stones on their heads. “The invocations would end with an ejaculation”, he said, “…We have sinned oh Lord and have pity on us and send us rain!”

6. The state of Maharashtra was trying a different approach. Citizens in Nagpur married two frogs to attract the rain gods’ attention. Raja and Rani, two local frogs, were married in a solemn ritual in the ancient vedic tradition.

7. Delhi’s local government too, stepped into action. The state’s newly re-elected chief minister advised the public to use power judiciously. “You do the same too“, replied her voters.

8. Not to be left behind, India’s central government too, was feverishly working to bring an end to the rain crisis. “…The plan as to what is to be done if there is excess monsoon or a deficient monsoon is in place in every department of the government…”, uttered Prithviraj Chavan, the minister of Science and Technology. He also assured the nation that the Prime Minister was personally monitoring the situation and the Cabinet Secretary was meeting all the secretaries.

9. Maybe the rain gods need new glasses or something. As the rest of the country was suffering the lack of the monsoon clouds, the desert state of Rajasthan was said to be gearing up for a record flood situation. No word yet on whether the chief minister had ordered prayers to shoo the rain Gods away from the state.

10. One wonders what the residents of the state of Gujarat have been praying for. The citizens of Vadodara did not get a visit from the rain gods, but instead were shocked to see naked women roaming the streets.

Apr

28

April 28, 2009

April 28, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

1. Caught redhanded taking bribe, cop swallows money
A Nagpur cop literally swallowed 1000 Rupees he had just received as a bribe, as he was apprehended right in the middle of the act by the anti-corruption department. When confronted further, the cop told the anti-corruption folks that he was acting as a proxy for his boss - the sub inspector. Both the cop and his boss were harassing people charged under attempted murder, blackmailing them into paying bribes. But the attempted murderers swallowed their pride and sought the help of anti-corruption. Attempts to retrieve the thousand Rupees were unsuccessful in spite of the cop’s stomach wash and the analyses of his urine and stools. The anti-corruption has not said if it has given up on retrieving the loot, though.

2. Father-in-law makes hoax calls posing as his son-in-law
Jaipur police have arrested Wahiduddin, for making hoax calls about bomb explosions in the city. Wahiduddin confessed making the hoax calls, but reasoned that he did that to avenge his abusive son-in-law who had been harassing Wahiduddin’s daughter. He was able to get a SIM card on his son-in-law’s name by stealing the young man’s driving license and passport picture. His plans bombed, though, when the son-in-law tipped the police about his own father-in-law. For now, Wahiduddin is behind bars, and is said to be hatching new schemes to teach a lesson to the son-in-law, and will just have to be content with sending hate mails.

3. Hungry elephants kill family
A herd of wild, hungry elephants destroyed two families and their shelters in India’s northeast. Elephants in India have said to have killed more than 700 people over last two decades. When confronted, the elephants contended that in recent years, people themselves had destroyed more than 700,000 acres of forest land and murdered several elephants.

Apr

25

The longevity of trees and men

April 25, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

Early his morning I called an aunt of mine who lives in a city that could easily have passed for a hill station or a resort town only a few decades ago. I rang her up a little early in the morning, at least for me. Nobody picked up her land line and that had me a little worried. So then I called her cell. She answered but the ambient noise on her side made it impossible for her to listen or speak and I promised to call back and hung up.

A couple hours later, I called back the land line and this time, she picked up. “where were you so early in the morning”, I asked her. “Well, don’t you know, that’s the only hour of the day I can do things outside anymore”, she replied, “The heat is killing me, so I do all my chores between 7 and 8 in the morning, and am home before 8 am”.

The heat is killing indeed. In her town, the mercury has been romancing mid-forties (celsius). Only a decade or two ago, those mercury numbers were the territory of a cities in northwest Asia where mercury regularly moved in that range. That kind of heat has now engulfed many cities and towns in India that were once just modestly hot this time of the year. And there is something else that has happened to aunt’s town during the same time frame. There are thrice as many people, ten times as many vehicles, and one-hundredth as many trees as a few decades ago.

Ages ago, some wise men in India foresaw some of these issues, and built their ideas of religion and culture around such problems. And they tied those ideas up with the social fabric in a way that tricked people into loving their environment, the trees and plants, the animals, everyone. A case in point is the festival of karwa-chot where womenfolk tie cotton threads around banyan trees, circumvent it several times chanting folk songs and mantras, and pray for their husbands’ long lives. Only God knows if their Indian husbands indeed gained in longevity because of such festivals, but what we do know is that such practices turned the banyan tree into a regular fixture all across India, giving shade to travelers, halting land erosion, providing shelters to various avian and reptilian species. Great environmental initiatives in the name of culture and religion. Another case in point is people planting the Tulsi (holy basil) tree in their backyards. There was a time when practically everyone household in the south and the north and the east and the west had a Tulsi tree in the backyard. Such practices were more or less a religious thing for the practitioner, but in reality , a suggestive nudge to be more understanding of the environment in general.

But new wisdom is kicking in and the old wisdom is getting lost. We are smarter, brighter and more cynical about people’s longevities tied up to tree-worshipping. Or maybe not. These times need almost everyone to get into the act of treeworshipping. Not just women, but men, children, old people, babies, everybody. Come to think of it, a few more trees planted a few years ago would have made it at least 5 degrees celsius cooler than now.

Apr

21

Animal stories

April 21, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

Mosquitoes, King Cobra, and elephants - three of India’s everyday animals have made it to the list of 10 deadliest animals. Two of those three are also part of India’s religious routine - King Cobra has a day dedicated to it when millions worship it around mid-monsoon, and the elephant head is of course the most recognizable part of Ganesha, India’s erstwhile deity.

The election fever has put animals in the election fray as well, although India’s election commission has banned using animals as election symbols. So India doesn’t have a political party with an elephant or a donkey for a logo. But it is not uncommon to find politicians campaigning riding on donkeys and horses and even buffaloes.

Most everywhere else, animals are finding it harder to survive, though. In Rajkot, the zookeepers have had to add special fans and water jets to protect animals from the summer sun pushing the celsius scale into mid-forties. Everywhere else, the ubiquitous gas-muzzling cows are getting the flak for global warming, producing methane by tons per minute. Even vultures aren’t safe either, now that scientists from Nagpur have showed the effect of drug poisons from cattle on the nature’s ultimate scavengers. And even Bollywood is up in arms against the animal world - top hero Hrithik Roshan is said to be spending close to 5 thousand dollars per day to invade and destroy the ants in his main residence.

There may be some good news in the air from the avian world, however. Researchers recently ruled out spread of the dreaded avian flu via migratory birds from India. And an Indian drug manufacturer now has an upper hand on a drug patent for the bird flu. Bird lovers in Mumbai are hoping for even better news, stalking pink flamingoes that typically arrive in Mumbai this time of the year in thousands.

Apr

15

Letting the sleeping dogs lie

April 15, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

If you’ve had a chance and the privilege to walk on a street in any Indian city or town or village, you must be aware of the stray dogs that roam India’s streets, hundreds of thousands of them in some of our big cities. Many amongst us go through lifetimes without ever having made peace with dogs, and are jittery and uncomfortable in their presence. Adding fuel to the fire, there are incidents of stray dog attacks in many places, adding to the outcry to neuter and even euthanize and eliminate the stray dog population. Recently a top court in Mumbai gave permission to the city commissioner to use lethal force in combating stray dogs, illustrating the seriousness of the matter.

PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) has now come out with some suggestions to diffuse the growing tension amongst the stray dogs and the stray pedestrians or motorists. Here are the suggestions.

1. Avoid dogs with these signs

- Wagging of tail in a stiff, upright manner
- Stiff body posture
- Low-pitched growl
- Raised fur on the back of the neck
- Fixed stare
- Raised upper lip and baring teeth

Here’s the problem. Not everyone walking on the street is smart and sharp enough to make quick decisions about such things. And unfortunately for pedestrians, most stray dogs are much smarter at making a quick decision about which pedestrian to attack. So by the time a person figures out that a dog may or may not have friendly intentions, the dog has already expressed those in many instances. In fact, Cesar Milan, the famous dog show host, advises people to adopt a stiff and confident pose themselves, dropping the shoulder stoop and sounding more authoritative.

2. Never disturb a dog that is sleeping, eating, gnawing on a bone or caring for puppies.

Unfortunately for the pedestrians, those activities cover pretty much everything most stray dogs do in a lifetime. And when those dogs aren’t eating or sleeping or gnawing a bone, they are wagging their tail upright and growling at folks and raising their upper lips and baring their teeth. Which is item no. 1 in PETA’s list.

3. Always ask for permission before petting a dog. If the guardian isn’t present, leave the dog alone.

Well, that question is moot for most stray dogs since one wouldn’t know whose permission to seek.

4. Do not approach a dog that is tied up or reach through a car window or fence to pet a dog.

Most of the dogs in those situations may not be able to attack and harm. Stray dogs won’t be riding in someone’s car or be inside someone’s fence, anyways.

5. Avoid patting a unknown dog on top of the head. Dogs view that as a threatening gesture.

Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood’s latest movie, speaks about such culture differences when Eastwood’s old Korean war veteran character mingles with his Southeast Asian neighbors of Hmong origin, who tell him that patting the head is a no-no in their culture. Knowing about such things does matter, especially when there is a communication difference. And dog experts do point out the importance of treating dogs humanely instead of as fellow human beings.

6. While giving a treat to a dog, place it on your open palm and don’t jerk your hand away at the last moment.

My uncle used to do that to me when I was a child, and I am still pissed off about it :)

7. Never tease, abuse or harass stray dogs.

That goes not just for dogs but for everyone else as well. Many will argue that humans outdo dogs when it comes to stray behavior. But animals don’t get to file FIRs, press charges, or pursue right to information rules. Then again, many citizens have the same complaint, too!

Mar

4

A nuclear monkey on the world’s back

March 4, 2009 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

Yesterday’s terrorists attack on foreign athletes visiting Pakistan are now the nth reminder and the gazillionth alert about the real dangers that Pakistan poses - not just to its neighbors but to the rest of the world as well.

One of the ways Pakistan has managed to get itself into this much mess, is by being two-faced about its approach to the recent wave of Islamic terrorism. So while its handsome diplomats in western garb sell sweets of diplomacy to the international community, Pakistani pols had so far been content to waste the American aid towards funding their anti-India campaign. While its Oxford and Cambridge-accented top class denied that their country ever catered or pandered to villans and rogue regimes, its scientists collaborated with the worst kind on the planet and its US-educated West-point-trained military brass abused the generous training imparted by the Americans.

Very soon, the world community will have to make a final decision on what to do with this monkey on their back. The problem is a little difficult, because some in the international community have been stupid and selfish enough to allow this monkey to become a nuclear monkey. A monkey, that has in the last 30+ years, amassed hundreds of nuclear weapons, all a stone’s throw away from the rest of the world’s population.

One way to tackle a nuclear-weapon-bragging-monkey is for everyone to jump off of the world’s edge and let things go from there. It will at least save the planet, though it may destroy humanity. Or else, the world can wake up about Pakistan and save itself from doom by taking some smart steps. The problem so far, has been is that the world has been consulting the monkey on how it will not cross the line.

Only a few days ago, a woman in Connecticut lost her eyes, nose and jaw to an attack by her neighbor’s pet chimpanzee. The chimp’s owner loved the chimp and had looked after it as her own child and reared it and was horrified to find out that the chimp had never really domesticated the way she thought it would. Her misunderstanding of the animal behavior resulted in the chimp getting shot to death, the neighboring woman losing eyes-nose-jaw, and the owner herself losing face and of course everything else as well.

Pakistani establishment is like the pet owner who keeps reassuring the world that it has managed to cage the nuclear arsenal in the backyard. Those politicians are this close to losing their face. Pakistan’s neighbors are this close to getting fatally hurt. And the nuclear monkey is this close to the explosion that silence just about every living being on the planet. The world can trust the Pakistani establishment at their own peril. I’m pinning my hopes on the space scientists at ISRO. Taking the first space flight off of India.

Feb

15

Only in India - February 15th, 09

February 15, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

News stories that could not have come from anywhere else:

1. Allahabad Motorist ticketed for driving without helmet
A cop in Allahabad will soon be facing a judge to explain why he ticketed a motorist for driving a car without wearing a helmet. Last December, Premchand Kesarwani, a local businessman, was pulled over by constable Nripat Singh, who first inspected Kesarwani’s papers and then ticketed him for not wearing a helmet.

Kesarwani appealed to the local court and complained that Nripat Singh, the cop, had initially asked him for a ride to a nearby town. Upon refusing to oblige the cop and his family, the cop handed him a paper. “Oh, fine”, said Kesarwani.

2. Leopard in Bangalore University
Yeah, the animal, not the Mac operating system. Yesterday, a leopard, a real one from the animal kingdom, actually made its way into the Bangalore University campus, throwing the neighborhood and the campus into panic mode. “…the leopard lives in the campus, but hasn’t harmed anyone so far…”, vouched B. Jairam, the deputy conservator of Forests.

“…Mr. Jairam is right, I’ve been living on the BU campus for a while, and nobody has harmed me so far…”, agreed the leopard.

3. Tax cheaters listed on Rajkot city billboards
The Rajkot Municipal Corporation has come up with a novel way to wake its tax cheaters up. The city’s major tax defaulters will now have their names on billboards at several different locations in the city. The defaulter list includes hospitals, schools, corporations as well as individuals including a few politicians.

The local society for wannabe models has asked its members to stop paying city taxes altogether, and asked the city council to consider putting their pictures instead of their names, next year.

4. Valentine day loverboy in Miraj wedded to a donkey
In Miraj, Maharashtra, the Valentine day celebrations turned into wedding celebrations when local gangsters forcefully wedded a local youth to a donkey.

But there wasn’t any kick-ass song-and-dance party as is usual in most Indian marriages. Donkey-mergers are said to bring much-needed showers in parts of India, and the kick-ass party may well have to wait till the first gusts of monsoon in Miraj.

Feb

7

Baby elephant Vijay defeats state borders

February 7, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

Maharashtra and Karnataka, the two bordering states on the western coast, have been engaged in a border row for almost over 50 years now. At issue is a region that spans about 865 border villages that represent both the cultures to some extent, and have become political landmines for politicians on either side of the border. For 50 years, whenever politicians from the two neighboring states sat together in a room, the only thing they agreed upon was that the elephant in the room was the border between them. Even this year, the newest chief ministers from both states recently promised their supporters to pursue the regionalism fight all the way to New Delhi.

But a baby elephant named ‘Vijay’ has refused to obey the border between the two states, and for several weeks, has wreaked havoc in the border region between Maharashtra and Karnataka. ‘Vijay’, coming in from Karnataka, has been trampling and destroying farms on the Maharashtra side of the border. So forest officials from Maharashtra state have been trying hard to send back the untamed, undomesticated baby elephant back into Karnataka.

solar fence picture courtesy Prabhakar Dhuri, Sakal PapersThey’ve tried tranquilizers, electric fences, solar-powered electric fences that would shock the large animals, everything. Elephant experts from around the country and forest officials with experience in tracking wild elephants have been at it for weeks. They’ve used other domesticated elephants, one named ‘Vimala’, another named ‘Babu’, to guide the wild baby elephant back into the Karnataka border. All of their attempts have failed so far. Yesterday, the solar-powered electric fence was found uprooted, obviously a victim of baby elephant’s wild rage.

For now, the baby elephant is back in the Karnataka border. For years, the border population between the two states has found it hard to conform to the political border. Now a baby elephant is exposing the futility of human attempts to teach and train wild animals to conform to human rules and regulations. Even modern technology has had to bite dust against this animal’s rage. Maybe the baby elephant will finally relent if the government officials paste googlemap’s satellite pictures with a dashed border overlay in the region between Maharashtra and Karnataka.

Jan

20

Midnight train to Faizabad

January 20, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

Monday night, as the Allahabad-Faizabad Saryu Express left the Allahabad station, hundreds of young army hopefuls sat on top of that train. They were all looking forward to the Army recruitment drive about to be held in Faizabad on Tuesday. Unable to get on board and unable to convince the passengers in the reserved cars to open up doors, the mob of students literally climbed atop the night train. In the dark of the night and amidst the thick winter fog, nobody noticed tree branches hanging low near the Chilbilah station. Almost everyone atop the train, almost every one of the several hundreds, was swept off the train. Initial reports suggest that two died and dozens were injured.

That Indians sit on top of the trains and travel to their destinations is no news at all. Most everybody who has taken a suburban train in an Indian metro, knows how to travel standing almost outside the train hanging to its sides or sitting on top of the train, ducking high-voltage electric wires and electric poles. Of course there are those who travel standing or sitting between two railway cars. And those who stand or sit in the doors, hundreds of them at each door.

What is news is that this is the first time people sitting on top of the trains seem to have come face to face with tree branches that have swept them off the train. No, it’s not that there are less Indians sitting on top of the trains. It’s just that there aren’t as many trees in India anymore for such mishaps to happen that often.

Initial media reports have blamed the railway administration for the response (rather the lack of it) to the mishap. I think it should be clear to everybody that no unit of Indian government, central, state or city, is capable of responding to any mishap, in a coordinated and capable manner. This isn’t criticism, it’s a fact. Back in 1956, Lal Bahadur Shastri, the then railways minister had set an example by offering his resignation for a train mishap (But Lal Bahadur Shastri was an exception in Indian politics, a gem of a leader the likes of whom are rarely made). In this day and age, no self-loathing (I don’t believe we have any self-respecting politicians anymore) railway official or minister is going to take responsibility and offer his resignation for such mishaps.

This country is just getting to be a worrisome place where humans, animals and trees have been battling hard with one another for space. I’m sorry to have to say this but the main reason for my worry is that humans seem to be winning that battle.

keep looking »

Search

 


Translations




Most visited

Hollywood’s first Indian star
Meeting Raj Kapoor at the barbershop
Madhubala on a postal stamp
Why I’m happier than Mukesh Ambani
An inconvenient truth about India’s intellectual property
UFOs may be ‘idlis’ but time travels only in ‘medu-wadas’
Dr Singh is no Dr King
Lesser Known Indians
The Most ‘Nobel’ Teacher of Them All
The third Indian revered in China
A little Poland in India
The vanishing of Indian languages
The looting of Chandigarh’s treasures
Bharat, Pakistan and Hindustan, Indiana
Welcome to India, Steve!
Top 5 explanations for the president’s gesture
An IIT on every street, an IIM on every block
Pakistan, Jinnah, Wadias and the American anthem
An IAS officer’s nightmare of lustful, lascivious stares comes true