Sep

1

Indian designer Anand Jon gets a lifer

September 1, 2009 posted by indiatime | 17 Comments

It was more 2 years ago that, Anand Jon, famous NY-based Indian fashion designer, went from page 3 to page 1, when the state of California charged and arrested him of sexually molesting more than dozen a young girls, between the ages 14 to 21. He was convicted of those crimes late last year. Yesterday, Jon received a minimum of 59 years to life for the crimes committed against young girls.

Earlier yesterday, Jon argued for a mistrial, contending misconduct on part of jurors and the prosecutors. His supporters and family have long claimed that Alvin Dymally, one of the 12 jurors, had expressed sexual interest in Anand Jon’s sister Sanjana, had communicated with her, and had lied on oath. Those arguments failed to sway the judge, taking the last defense weapon away, and clearing the way for Jon’s life sentence. Jon’s family also tried to politicize the issue, hoping that the Indian government would intervene. The Indian government did in fact go beyond what it would for any other criminal. The Indian consul general in San Francisco personally wrote to the California state authorities on Jon’s behalf, asking to release an exculpatory evidence that would help set the Indian designer free.

Hearing of Shah Rukh Khan’s detention and the Indian consulate’s role in getting him out of the immigration checkpoint, Anand Jon’s angry sister tried playing racism card by asking if it would helped to have the last name ‘Khan’ instead of ‘Jon’. Nice try, but comparing Jon’s case with Bollywood actor Khan’s recent detention at the immigration checkpoint, is just way too desperate, I think. Plus it is quite unfair to Shah Rukh, who to his credit, probably does have women throwing themselves at him every day, but has never gotten into such kind of trouble as Anand Jon has.

At the end of the day, the weight of the evidence and the testimonies was too strong, the charges just too serious and the crimes just too many. Jon, supposedly one of the most up and coming Indians on the planet, fell victim to his success and arrogance and uncontrollable lust. For the judge and the victims in the case, and for those able to see beyond Jon’s celebrity and success, the case was not about a famous fashion designer, but about a serial criminal, a rapist and a manipulator, who destroyed the lives of many young women, and ultimately his own as well.

Incidentally, Jon faces many more charges in 3 more states, which can add a couple more life sentences on top of his already received one.

Aug

17

India’s moral compass

August 17, 2009 posted by indiatime | 12 Comments

Epidemics, communal discontent, dirty politics, reality television, bollywood and cricket. That would have been my stock answer to anyone asking me about the current state of the Indian union. But a state of the nation poll by CNN-Hindustan Times, has results that may surprise many. India’s moral compass, the survey concludes, is somewhere in between taboo and modernity, and that there are a lot of ifs and buts in the Indian concept of freedom and personal liberty.

The following results pertain to those who were surveyed, but do show a slice and sample of Indian minds without any supposed survey bias.

1. 73% Indians feel homosexuality should be considered illegal

2. 79% Indians feel that rape and sexual harassment are linked to the way women dress

3. 41% Indians feel there should be a dress code in public

4. 59% Indians believe people should be free to wear what they want

5. 56% Indians believe it is untrue that women cannot undertake tough tasks

6. 67% Indians think women make better bosses at the workplace

7. 60% Indians regard homosexuality as a disease

8. 63% Indian men believe bride’s virginity is not an issue for them

9. 69% Indians support schools banning students from wearing Western clothes

10. 69% Indian men would feel uncomfortable if their wife or sister works till late in office.

The specter of modernity vs morality was best represented by a dramatic exchange between Sambhavana Seth, one of Bollywood’s many vamps and Baba Ramdev, Indian TV’s yoga guru and herbal doctor-general to the nation. Here’s the interesting exchange:

Sambhavna Seth: I don’t find anything wrong with gays. My friend is gay. I will send him to your ashram. It remains to be seen if you can cure him. Let’s hope you don’t become one.

Baba Ramdev: Gays are mentally sick and I do not support them. I can never change. And I have cured all major illnesses, including cancer.

Sambhavna Seth: Why are you always talking about sex and sambhog? Where did you learn all this?

Baba Ramdev: (Stays mum)

Sambhavna Seth: Is your beard and hair natural? Do you colour them?

Baba Ramdev: They are absolutely natural.

Sambhavna Seth: I have immense respect for you but I don’t agree with everything that you say.

Baba Ramdev: Thank you.

Actually, I am not a fan of either of these two. I am not much for Sambhavan’s gyroscope and I don’t believe Baba is the only one who knows where India’s north star is. But I think these two magnetic personalities perfectly embody the two extremes of India’s moral compass. As much as it may appear to be all skewed and screwed, to those on this side of the planet, the current moral state of the union seems to be a topic that is desirably more chewable than manikchand jarda. Cheers to all the corrupt bastards and happy immoralizing until the next moral survey.

Aug

15

Shah Rukh Khan, Bollywood’s biggest superstar, today got the taste of American hospitality, when he was detained at the Newark airport’s international immigration for a couple of hours. Shah Rukh was let go once his identity and the details of visit were confirmed, but the star has now gone on record saying he will never shoot another film in the US, and has also expressed his shock and awe at the humiliation he felt during the 2-hour non-drama.

Although there is still some confusion over why Bollywood’s big icon was stopped at the airport, many in Bollywood’s fraternity have claimed it is Khan’s last name that got him in trouble. That may or may not be true. After 9/11, there is a list of names that the homeland security department has compiled, which is what is referred to at every American airport or at the Immigration checkpoints. That Shah Rukh’s name came up at the name-check just means that someone else with the same name has been on the watch. Nothing more.

Shah Rukh’s indignation at being stopped and detained can be understood in the context of his being India’s biggest celebrity. But that matters little in the context of the United States where, apart from the south Asian diaspora, not many know his name. Why him, not many know outside the south Asian diaspora know about Amitabh Bachchan, Lata Mangeshkar or Sachin Tendulkar or Dhoni. No doubt, these are huge celebrities for the non-resident Asian Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Srilankan and Nepali community. But for those that do not watch Bollywood movies (or don’t know about Cricket), these names aren’t really celebrities.

Is that ignorance? Not necessarily, but possibly. Most Americans have never traveled to this part of the planet and would not know where to point India if shown a world map. Hard to believe, but that is the truth. American media, too, is largely ignorant of Bollywood and overall of India (Last year, Larry King, CNN’s famous interviewer had a hard time speaking a single word on Mumbai or India when live pictures of the Mumbai carnage were being shown on TV).

Having said that, there is another aspect to this. In the past, many celebrities from India would enter the US on visitor visas. Once inside, they would perform in dance and song shows, making a lot of money at that. The US government viewed that as work performed and balked because it hadn’t allowed the celebrities to come and work in the US, but only to visit. So now, most celebirties who do these song and dance shows have to get a P-2 performer visa, meant for entertainers. I myself know of many Indian celebrities (though not of Shah Rukh’s fame) and entertainers, who had a hard time at the immigration checkpoints because their sponsors hadn’t taken care of the proper documentation fo them. So these folks would come to the US all the way from India with visitor visas stamped on their passports, and then when asked by an immigration officer about the purpose of their visit, would tell them about some singing performance etc. But then that was contrary to the original permission given only to visit and not work.

Shah Rukh’s case is surely not about the performer visa, but about his name popping up in the name check database. That name-check issue still keeps haunting American celebrities and many other American citizens, including US senators and business elite. Several Americans themselves are still on the no-fly list for no fault of their own. That’s just the way it is after 9/11.

The rude shock for Shah Rukh may have been that nobody inside the immigration detention center knew of him. That just shows how limited Bollywood’s reach is. What can you say? One problem with celebrities is that they keep telling us they miss privacy. And when they get a touch of reality, the next minute they start missing their celebrity. What is the big deal about waiting for a couple of hours anyways? No big social cause was coming to an end except for some delay at some stupid dance show, right?

The only person who definitely could have made it past any of the US airports anytime anyday ever is still Gandhi. And he too left little to chance, wearing what he did, hiding nothing. To this day, the 62nd birthday of India’s independence, he remains India’s biggest celebrity to the rest of the planet. And that’s a fact.

Aug

3

For all the hoopla surrounding Bollywood dancer Rakhi Sawant’s bachelorette TV show, the end to the 5-weeks of low-quality high-drama came in a rather lame fashion, with the bachelorette making the predictable choice amongst the 3 finalists in front of a lame crowd that didn’t know what to make of the show’s format.

Not that the viewers would terribly miss their daily dose of this reality TV drama, but the idea that a modern day Indian bride would go through the ringer of dating a dozen or more contenders to choose a soulmate from amongst them, admittedly did inject some life into Indian TV’s predictable lineup of soaps where camera antics and background music routinely override and overbear everything else including the storyline.

Of all the episodes from the show, the final moments seemed to be a total disconnect for some reason, and the participants and the marriage parties seemed tongue-tied and jaw-locked to a scripted screenplay that had little originality, no imagination and zero fun. The main participant Rakhi Sawant seemed absolutely lost. Her 3 finalist grooms entered the marriage hall in ridiculous-looking processions, each groom clad in awful garbs that made them look sillier than usual. Even Rakhi’s own costume, supposedly custom-made by famous designer Lulla, hardly made an impression, its colors seemed lost in the glare of the lights and the bright shine of the overbearing jewellery.

Nothing looked original and genuine except the grooms’ families who all seemed to carry themselves with grace. The prayer to Jesus looked like a last minute touch, with a couple of the singers showing up in extremely casual clothes.

All in all, it was a chaotic but strangely quiet ending to the high melodrama of 5 weeks of reality TV. As for Rakhi Sawant, she has now exhausted and exploited one more avenue of fame and will not be venturing into another. As for some yet unknown bachelor or bachelorette, their 15 minutes of glory can hardly wait for its turn. As for reality on the streets, that will have to wait another day until Indian audiences feel more than satiated with the daily chickenshit on Indian Idiot box that guarantees our unstoppable descent into idiocy and lunacy.

Jul

31

Hashmi can’t own a house ssala

July 31, 2009 posted by indiatime | 6 Comments

It was only a year ago that I commented about Shabana Azmi’s ridiculous sounding claims that muslim actors in Bollywood were finding it difficult to own an apartment of their choice in Mumbai. Fast forward one year. And today there is this news about this ridiculous housing society in Mumbai’s swank suburb of Bandra, a cooperative society that is not cooperating with Emraan Hashmi, Bollywood’s famous kissing king.

One of the residents of the society, one Ms Suvarna, had apparently agreed to sell her apartment to Mr. Hashmi, who put down a good faith retainer of Rs 1 lakhs. At about the time the deal between the seller and the buyer was to close, the cooperative society turned uncooperative and refused to hand over a no-objection certificate needed to transfer the ownership.

Admittedly, the housing cooperative societies have their by-laws and constitutions and are perfectly within their rights to allow or deny any transfer of ownership that is deemed improper or unwelcome for various reasons. The problem in this particular case may be that Mr. Hashmi’s lone disqualification could be his faith. Although the society has so far not given any explanations for its disinterest and dislike in allowing a transfer of ownership, it seems quite likely that Emraan Hashmi’s initial instincts about his inability to find a place of his choice, appear right so far.

If that indeed is the case, then it is a shame, a big shame. I am not a personal fan of Emraan Hashmi. I think he is an averagely talented person with average acting abilities, not unlike most other Bollywood actors, who can barely twitch a facial muscle at will. Still, he has made a name for himself, has become popular, for all we know, is a good and upstanding citizen with no crimes against humanity or anything. Good for him, I say. But to be denied access or ownership rights on the basis of one’s faith is a gross violation and just hugely unfair. So I completely empathize with Hashmi on this one, and do believe he has a right to live wherever he wants.

It shouldn’t matter whether Hashmi is a Muslim a Hindu or a Christian or a Sikh. Shouldn’t matter whether someone is an upper caste or a lower caste. Shouldn’t matter when you buy a house or enter a school or a university or are hired for a job. Anybody who even mentions religion or caste or color should be exiled to some faraway island and kept there until the next stone age returns.

Jul

29

Ishmeet Singh, a year after

July 29, 2009 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

Within moments of pop star Michael Jackson’s death a month ago, conspiracy theorists debated about the unnatural and suspicious way he had died. Most others dismissed the conspiracies, blaming the star’s own penchant for drug use. Close family members such as Jackson’s own sister alleged murder conspiracies. Now, one month after the star’s death, some of that mystery has unraveled and Jackson’s personal doctor is said to be facing manslaughter charges.

Exactly one year ago, on July 29th 2008, India’s own pop sensation and rising superstar Ishmeet Singh, died a mysterious death far away from home, at a resort in the Maldives. Though he didn’t know how to swim, Singh was said to have gone into the deep end of the resort’s swimming pool, all alone. Minutes later, he had apparently drowned and died, shocking his fans all around the world.

Within days, Singh’s own family members had alleged foul play. Months after his death, his father spoke about the discrepancies in the drowning investigation and highlighted the inconsistencies in the witness statements.

Surprisingly for the death of such a huge star, the people who accompanies Ishmeet Singh to the Maldives resort, have hardly spoken to the media, seldom giving others an insight into what transpired before, during and after the star’s death. It’s obvious that many of the big stars and wannabe singers who were at the resort, were under contract with a huge media company that seems to have censored any reactions from them. Even more surprisingly, the rest of the media also seems to have followed some sort of self-censorship, altogether zipping it up about the drowning incident, choosing not to raise even the most obvious questions, and electing to declare the incident as an unfortunate accident.

An accident it may indeed have been, but then again, all the questions haven’t been answered and all the people who were around haven’t spoken up. Unfortunately for young Ishmeet Singh, the Indian public too, has a short memory. New singing sensations come up every day and last year’s singing great Ishmeet Singh, for most ungrateful fans, is probably a distant memory only a year after his unnatural and sudden death.

Jul

26

A truth-telling twist for politicians

July 26, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

The recent controversy over a reality show that exploits people’s lie-telling and technology’s lie-detecting skills, has thrown India’s hypocrite moral police up in disarray. That the show’s producers are exploiting TV ratings under the guise of truth is no secret. The newly imported truth-telling reality show on India’s Star TV guarantees provoking of controversies and raising of eyebrows, at a time when India’s TV viewers seem to be hungry for more and more of something spicier.

So politicians across India have now been clamoring over the immoral TV shows, vowing to ban the new rot on Indian television, ruing the golden old days when immorality was confined to bodily gyrations of Bollywood maidens. Funny thing is, none of those politicians and the moral police will dare to participate in the truth-telling show that seems to be exposing the myth of India’s moral mantle, revealing the hidden devils inside every participant, and making a mockery of those who have long claimed moral and spiritual superiority over the rest of the planet.

The show’s future will most certainly rest in the hands of India’s supreme court, which sooner or later, will ban the darn truth-revealing show. Before that however, the show’s producers should offer to accept the inevitable on a condition to have each of India’s parliamentarians sit in the truth-chair, making them take the lie-detector test. One can start at the top, with the president, then the prime minister, then each of the cabinet ministers, and then the parliament members. Local language TV stations can run the local shows with chief ministers and local legislators. By the time we’re done with politicians, enough secrets will be outed turning everything upside down and charting a new path. And then there should be a law to mandate some lie-detector test for everyone who contests to become a people’s representative.

Once we get to that point, the show can go to hell, meaning where it came from. And the politicians can then go to hell, meaning where they’re headed for, eventually.

Jul

12

Who wants to marry Rakhi Sawant?

July 12, 2009 posted by indiatime | 7 Comments

Actually, who does Rakhi Sawant want to marry, is the question. Rakhi Sawant, Bollywood’s item-girl-turned-reality-TV-bachelorette, is having a ball at an ornate palace somewhere in Rajasthan. Instead of taking to the dance floor herself, this time she making a handful of willing suitors dance to her tunes, making them say and do things to win her hand in marriage. For the winning wannabe groom, it will be the 15 minutes of his lifetime, a place in reality TV history, and perhaps an item girl to take home to his parents.

Well, not quite. Rakhi Sawant, who has proved herself to be a shrewd survivor in the Bollywood jungles, has vowed to move beyond her item girl days, promising to play this reality TV marriage somewhere on a Rajasthan fort, to a cliff. So for last few weeks, from amongst a dozen or more strangers, Rakhi has been eliminating those she didn’t think God had planned for her. Those are her own words, every time, as she bids goodbye to each of the frustrated and sometimes upset losers, telling them how much she still respects them, but how God didn’t see her and them as a couple.

For a country, where arranged marriages are a still a norm, and where the tradition of choosing one’s own groom was a privilege once bestowed to princesses alone, Rakhi Sawant’s marriage drama, has caught on, for its fantasm, novelty and even its ridiculousness.

So every night, the gilded golden palace setting lights up with the make-believe princess Rakhi testing her suitors for their courage, wisdom, expression and style. So far, the poor fellows have had to endure talent contests, athletic showdowns, firewalks and rampwalks, and even tattoo threats. To their credit though, most have been putting up brave faces. To the viewers’ discomfort and bemusement however, some proved themselves to be natural born idiots. One suitor, it turned out, was already happily married and is a father of three. Another had a nasty habit of talking so loud that viewers lowered their TV volumes when this guy spoke lovely nothings in his fantasy bride’s ears. Yet another seemed to have come right out of a radical political rally, with some severe anger management issues.

Surprizingly to many, Rakhi Sawant, has so far controlled her usual flair for drama. But the scripted (of course) show is merely at its intermission and the script still surely has a lot more twists. The bachelorette has still not met any of her suitors’ families who, so far know her only as the girl who dances half-naked in Bollywood films. And it remains to be seen if they will be okay her coming into their homes with a bridal veil. There is no public voting thus far, and the producers have not given any indication if they will throw it in at the end, just to raise the stakes.

And even if the Bollywood bachelorette does go through with the marriage as she has promised, we still don’t know if her eventual pregnancies and the births of her kids (as in Jon and Kate, the reality TV family drama on American TV) and their fake fairytale lives will enrich our own pathetic ones.

And has anyone wondered where all those sweets boxes that Rakhi hands out to the surviving bachelors, end up every night? Something tells me all those laddoos end up in compere Ram Kapoor’s room.

Jun

16

Here is how some people reacted to Bollywood hunk Shiney Ahuja’s detention on charges of raping his maid.

My husband is innocent and all this is rubbish. I love him very much. He is a wonderful father and a great partner. He’s a man with a golden heart. The entire family stands by him…
- Anupam Ahuja (wife)

As members of the society, we really cannot do anything about it. Besides, we have never heard of Shiney Ahuja indulging in such acts before.
- an Ahuja family member

When I worked with him he did not come across as that sort of person
- Vinod Pande, producer

He had done a lot of charity work while I was looking after his public relations
- Dale Bhagwagar, Ahuja’s (already) ex public relations person

I am sure there’s some misunderstanding here.
- Sudhir Mishra, filmmaker

We’ve bonded over a long period of time. Never has there been even a hint of bad behaviour from him. I wouldn’t have tolerated it. I remember once long ago a spotboy had behaved badly with a lady on my sets, I had fired him immediately. One has to be very careful about these things. It’s not fair to try Shiney on television.
- Anurag Basu, director

You can’t do this to a man who has a family, career and a bright future.
- Mukesh Bhatt, filmmaker, addressing the media and the maid

It is absolutely obvious that the age of empires has ended and its revival will not take place.
- Ahmadinejad, Iranian president

there is no other alternative but to pursue the path of dialogue, it is in our vital interest to try again to make peace
- Manmohan Singh, Prime minister

We are shying away from pin-pointing our weaknesses and fixing responsibility. We are hoping that time shall heal our wounds
- Yashwant Sinha, senior leader of opposition

When a volcano is on even a small spark (chingari) can make it flare up further
- Sushma Swaraj, a little less senior leader of opposition

Viru & I know what happened between us
- Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain of Indian cricket team

And that hopefully is going to be a topic at the G-8 summit, as well…
- Barack Obama, US president

Jun

15

Shiney Ahuja, an upcoming and award-winning Bollywood actor celebrity, is under arrest and in police custody, accused by his own maid that he forcibly gagged and raped her this Sunday afternoon. The actor’s wife and baby daughter were not home when the incident is said to have occurred. There are some reports of Ahuja already having confessed to the crime, but that is bound to change once his legal team gets fully involved in the process.

The maid is said to be 18 years of age, a fact favorable to the accused in such a case. It is routine for Indian households to employ domestic maids who are minors, but the age factor of the maid hasn’t made the headlines yet. So it is not unlikely that the police have already given Mr. Ahuja that much of a break.

Although Bollywood fraternity is expressing dismay and shock, it is expected that it will eventually back Mr. Ahuja up all the way, depending on the money at stake. In yester-years, most Bollywood actors would only be caught with tax evasion at most. Recently however, Bollywood actors have been accused or convicted of much more, including vehicular homicides, poaching and eating endangered animals, aiding and abetting terrorists, abusing and extorting young movie aspirants for sex, and now, rape.

For all appearances, Mr. Ahuja is now in custody and justice may appear to have been served, his detainment is temporary at best, since he is only presumed to be guilty, not proven to be a rapist. Here’s the deal. With all those recent crimes by Bollywood actors, one would think at least some of them may still be in prison. Actually, not a single one of them is. Not even the convicted ones. In fact, the convicted ones are even bigger celebrities than before, either from new television shows, new films, political endeavors, or merely by extra public adulation on account of being bad boys or girls.

The police and the judiciary and the politicians have learnt a trick or two about the Indian public. So whenever a public backlash is expected or predicted, the ‘authorities’ pretends to do the right thing. And knowing that the public memory is way too short, the accused are soon released, citing legal inabilities or procedural obligations. Soon thereafter, the victims are offered large sums of money they have never seen before, turning them into hostile witnesses, compromising any potential prosecution. All this happens with the consent of the police, the judges, the politicians and in most cases, the helpless victims as well.

For now, Bollywood is acting shocked and dismayed. I hope they make bad acting a crime one of these days.

Jun

3

Gods of bureaucracy

June 3, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

Ancient Indian mythological stories typically tell the tale of a king or a sage meditating for decades. Sometime during their long penance, the Gods would approve of this devotion and prompt the person to ask for a reward. Most of the times, the meditator would request for a grant of immortality. In modern day India, there are different degrees of immortality among India’s top 3 immortal vocations (Politics, Cricket and Bollywood).

Bollywood icons are immortal as long as they can continue to be in the news. Since acting talent ain’t got nothing to do with it in Bollywood, this has come to mean only the following:

1. Falling in love with another actor or actress
2. getting married to yours or another actor or actress’s love
3. divorcing the spouse
4. back to number 1, falling in love….

Cricket icons are immortal as long as the game isn’t reduced to a one-ball matches (which is where Cricket seems to be going). Still, sports talent has little to do with being a Cricketer, and immortality in Cricket has come to mean the following:

1. Falling in love with a Bollywood actor or actress
2. Being in love with politicians who control Cricketing boards
3. Falling in love with Bollywood icons
4. Falling in love with industrial tycoons

In India, political icons are immortal by name recognition, since the family name of the patriarchial political figure tends to be borne for generations and electoral constituencies are literally handed down to the next generations. Still. immortality, for politicians, has come to mean

1. Falling in love with another politician or party
2. Falling in love with Cricket
3. Falling in love with Bollywood icons
4. Falling in love with industrial tycoons
5. Falling in love with well-known goons

Surprizingly for India’s top 3 immortal vocations, there exists a fourth vocation that not only outclasses these three in longevity and timelessness, but has absolute and much more power and a stranglehold on India than anything else. Those would be India’s bureaucrats, the red-tape dinosaurs, the uncivil civil servants of the Indian raj. A recent survey deemed India’s bureaucracy the worst even in Asia. Most of us who have had a chance to meditate to the Gods of bureaucracy know for a fact, that these Gods grant few rewards for your penance or patience unless you make them the traditional offerings of wealth, wine or women.

May

10

Jana Gana Mana Rann controversy

May 10, 2009 posted by indiatime | 9 Comments

..Jana gana mana Rann hai,
is rann mein zakhmi hua hai,
bharat ka bhaagya vidhaata,
Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha..
- Rann

A controversy has been brewing over a film song that is a take on the Indian national anthem. Taking some words, lines, the tune and the feel directly from the much-revered patriotic hymn, filmmaker Ram Gopal Varma has once again, shown his gusto for contentious creativity. Here’s the song in question.

Prior to this, I have repeatedly bashed and criticized Mr. Varma for his fake creativity, especially over his copying from previous Hollywood and Bollywood classics, and never giving due recognitions or credits. This time however, I am inclined to back Mr. Varma up because personally, I do believe that this is a genuine creative freedom issue. And without venturing into the merits of the output or the product of that creative process in this case, because that’s much to individual likes and dislikes, I don’t think we should shy away from such controversial creative processes.

First of all, such controversies make us think about the things that we really revere. To me, a person eating chewing tobacco and spitting publicly on the face of my motherland is more of a criminal than someone who is twisting an anthem or getting thrills out of parodying it. To me, a person channeling public money to his own Swiss banks is more of a gangster than a two-bit director who seems to be enjoying his 15 minutes of controversy and seems to have learnt the art of repeating those glorified 15 minutes. To me, a person trying to divide and pit one Indian against another or dividing Indians on the basis of race, caste or religion is more of a criminal than an unoriginal wannabe artiste who seems to have carved a niche for himself whether he deserves it or not.

What is the freedom and liberty worth if some crazy dude in the market square can’t dance naked in torn clothes and make an ass of himself and then pretend to be a creative artist or a philosopher? And frankly, Varma may genuinely have found his expression, whether it is satire or parody or whatever he is trying to do. But to ban his creation or to criticize the song as anti-patriotic seems to be bit of an overreaction. And in this case, Varma might even have pulled it off. The lyrics aren’t that bad, the singing isn’t too shabby, and the context may not be that uncalled for. And if you listen carefully, the meaning of the song probably does reflect someone’s agony over where we’ve reached thus far, walking the walk of democracy.

True freedom must mean freedom to criticize or bash that freedom’s most revered symbols, whether it is the flag or the anthem or the language or whatever. And whoever is pushing those limits is actually doing a service to the ultimate cause of that freedom. Whether it be Ram Gopal Varma or Amitabh Bachchan or some unknown creative artist working in his tiny workspace somewhere in the corner of the free republic of India. I do feel that such creativity, especially coming from Bollywood’s hypocritical crowd is a non-productive chatter whose only purpose is to generate publicity and hype. Still, there is no need to stop the clock on freedom just because some publicity junkies are calling for a timeout.

May

8

Bollywood, the most prolific producer of cinema in the world, may soon be losing that crown to a place that seems to have quietly surpassed every other cinema-producing country and is now closing in on India’s heels. Unesco’s institute for Statistics has just released a global survey on the state of cinema in the world, and places Nigeria’s Nollywood ahead of Hollywood, but just a few steps behind Bollywood.

According to the survey, here are the top movie producing countries for the year 2006

1. India (1091)
2. Nigeria (872)
3. United States (456)
4. Japan (417)
5. China (330)

But the US beats everyone else in terms of the number of cinema houses

1. United States (38,415)
2. China (37,753)
3. India (11,183)
4. France (5,362)
5. Nigeria (4,871)

The statistics on Nigeria seems to be a little skewed however. First of all, most of Nigerian movies are digital format movies, shot in 2 or 3 weeks and then distributed through an informal and a non-institutionalized chain of home theaters and private cinema houses. That is not how Hollywood or Bollywood or the Chinese or the Japanese cinema make most of their movies. By those standards, Youtube might soon become the highest cinema-producing place where hundreds if not thousands of short movies are produced and released every minute of every day.

Plus Bollywood itself is much more than Mumbai’s film production companies. In fact, the number of Telugu and Tamil films produced closely rivals that of the number of Hindi-language films produced in India. That again, is another specialty for India where regional films are just as popular as the national-language ones. But Indian cinema has a solid history of over a hundred years - Cinema was introduced in India in the last years of the 19th century, and the first indigenous movie production occurred back in 1913. In fact, even back in 1930s, India was said to be churning out over 200 movies per year.

Another factor to consider is the popularity and the longevity of the movies produced. Hollywood and Bollywood have repeatedly shown that capability (though Bollywood’s may be based more on the musical numbers). Nigeria has yet to show solid results on that front. So even if the Nigerian cinema is considered as mainstream cinema for the sake of discussion, it is still a bit of a stretch to consider it on par with Hollywood or Bollywood.

Not that I consider Bollywood on par with Hollywood in the first place. Personally, I think Bollywood’s quality has continued to deteriorate and erode over last few decades. In fact, if you look at the list of highest grossing Bollywood movies there isn’t a single movie, not a single one I repeat, that will make it to the all time Bollywood classics on my list. Unless one begins to adjust for inflation and this and that and what not. It’s almost as if Bollywood stopped making classics sometime in the 1970s. I wonder what happened.

May

1

Bollywood goes voting

May 1, 2009 posted by indiatime | 6 Comments

Yesterday, Bollywood’s glitterati celebrated their citizen right to vote, spending their precious moments amongst the voting public, passing the civic duty message and of course, showing the cameras the voting finger. Many of the Bollywood celebrities showed up, but there was something common about the whole Bollywood voting theater:

1. Most of Bollywood’s celebrities who showed up, were young vivacious beauties and hunks.

2. The few non-young celebrities that showed up are the ones who

a) have still managed to look extraordinarily young doing what they can (and they shall remain nameless)
b) are comfortable with their older image (The elder Bachchans, of course)
c) are God’s favorites (such as Hema Malini)

3. Most of the young hunks who showed up, wear their T-shirts few sizes small and probably take steroids for breakfast

4. Bollywood celebrities, when they are not reading their scripts, have a hard time verbalizing their thoughts, and have poor expressions (with notable articulate exceptions like Rahul Bose)

5. Bollywoodians are mostly a conscientious bunch who are just ordinary people with extraordinary luck (I said luck)

6. Older Bollywoodians look at politics as an exit strategy

7. Younger Bollywoodians too, look at Bollywood as a gateway to politics

8. Whenever politicians have screwed up, very Bollywoodians have stood up (with notable exceptions like Kishore Kumar, in the 1970s)

9. The first major Bollywood actor to hold a political chair was Sunil Dutt, who was the sheriff of Mumbai in the early 1980s. The first Bollywood actor to join a ruling cabinet was Vinod Khanna who became the union minister for culture and tourism back in 2002. The next one to do so, came from Hollywood (Kal Penn) - Kalpen Modi, who recently joined President Obama’s cabinet as an associate director at the white house public liaison office.

10. Predictions on the big beneficiaries of Bollywoodian politics this time? Sanjay Dutt, Jaya Bachchan, and Jaya Prada. And the media ratings, of course.

Apr

27

feroz khanFeroz Khan, the dimpled-chinned classy he-man of Bollywood, is no more. Son of an Afghan father and an Iranian mother, Feroz Khan, born in Bangalore, took his stylish good looks to the Bollywood bank, and made a mark in the competitive world of Bollywood during its golden years.

Feroz Khan’s father Sadiq Ali Tanoli, was an immigrant whose ancestors came from the Tanawal valley near the northwestern border of Pakistan. Tanolis or Tanawals were closely associated with the Pathans, with very close similarities in culture. Only a few hundred years ago, warriors from the Tanoli clan had helped Afghanistan’s Ahmed Shah Abdali in conquering the then Delhi. In fact, it was the Tanoli clansmen who managed to defeat the mighty Maratha empire in the 1761 battle of Panipat.

By 1961, two hundred years after that battle of Panipat, Feroz Khan was set upon conquering India’s movie capital right in the heart of that same Maratha empire. In 1962, Feroz Khan and his brother Abbas (Sanjay) Khan became amongst the first Indian actors to star in a major Bollywood release - Tarzan Goes to India. The same year Feroz Khan played the hunky Indian in Hollywood’s Indian adventure, Bollywood offered him a desi flick named ‘Main Shaadi Karne Chala’ (Getting Married). For decades after that, Bollywood kept moulding this western looking Indian into an Indian lover boy, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing Feroz Khan.

And so Khan was made to play second fiddle to Bollywood’s more accepted lover boys, sometimes playing the hero’s best friend, sometimes the spurned lover, sometimes the affectionate dacoit or an old wild west gunfighter amidst the ravines of the east. Most others would have been discouraged at not finding success in spite of good looks and an equally good command of Hindi language. But Feroze Khan pulled Bollywood’s ultimate trick, making the original Indian version of Copolla’s Godfather - Dharmatma! The actor directed and produced the movie himself, an unusual move for a mainstream Bollywood actor who, by most estimates didn’t seem like someone who should have been taking risks. Even more, he played Michael Corleone himself, doing enough justice to his part to make the movie one of the most memorable ones in Indian cinema. Amazingly, Khan got to shoot his most memorable film in the land of his forefathers - Afghanistan.

The Godfather risk paid off, and so did his next big one - Qurbani, another hit laced with memorable numbers, which most in India know by heart. Khan’s most memorable screen moments will be remembered for his on-screen romance with one of Bollywood’s most beautiful actresses - Mumtaz, whose own career sometimes mirrored Khan’s own, playing second fiddle to bigger names at first, eventually making it big in Bollywood (Mumtaz too, played a part in Main Shaadi Karne Chala - one of Feroz Khan’s earliest Bollywood films. And in 1970, both Feroz and Mumtaz got the nominations in the best supporting category, for their roles in the same film - Aadmi Aur Insaan). Their memorable on-screen romance turned into a family relation when Feroz Khan’s son Fardeen eventually married Mumtaz’s daughter, a story right out of an old Bollywood movie.

Feroz Khan died of cancer yesterday, going in peace at his favorite Bangalore farm close to his birthplace. He was a trailblazer in Bollywood, and can truly be said to be the first at several things. He was the first ever Bollywood actor who acted in a substantial role in a Hollywood movie. He was the first in Bollywood to think of creating an Indian version of the Godfather. He was the first Bollywood actor to play a race car driver (Apraadh). He was Bollywood’s own Michael Corleone, and most of all, he was also one of the first famous Khan of Bollywood. There were many after him, but he will always be the first.

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