Jun

30

Fake it to the limit…one more time

June 30, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

You know I’ve always been a dreamer
(spent my life running ’round)
And it’s so hard to change
(Can’t seem to settle down)…

So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time

- The Eagles (One of These Nights)

Fake employees, fake degrees and fake car registrations. And that’s just today.

1. 45,000 fake employees in Delhi’s local government
A biometric identification initiative inside Delhi’s local government, has unearthed a novel scam of huge proportions. About 45000 of Delhi’s local government employees may not exist at all. Tens of thousands of government employees in the sanitation and horticulture departments may have been existing on paper alone, it has now been revealed. For a long long time however, someone’s been drawing the salaries for these employees.

2. Nagpur University giving fake degrees
A principal of a local college affiliated with Nagpur University and a few of his accomplices are said to have been the masterminds of a scam, promising the students the easiest route to their degrees. Principal Rajendra Gore and his friends, advertised BPEd (Bachelor of Physical Education) degrees in local and out-of-state newspapers, in exchange of money and without having to take any examinations. Students became angry and upset when they found out that the newspaper advertisements were fake.

3. India’s own Jerry Lundegaard caught in fake car registration scam
Those who have seen the movie Fargo, will remember the character of Jerry Lundegaard, the unscrupulous car dealer who can’t do a thing right. Hyderabad’s Lakshma Reddy turned out to be a real life Lundegaard, and tried to get out of his debts by selling used cars with fake registrations, cheating financial agencies as well as his customers. When stopped by the police, Reddy himself was driving a vehicle with fake registration plates.

Jun

29

No need to panic..nothing to worry

June 29, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

India’s capital city has been plagued with water and electricity problems for last several days. Sheila Dixit, the chief minister, didn’t bring in much relief, when she told Delhi’s residents that their city was prepared to face the power crisis. For many residents, the power crisis has already been going on for days if not weeks, and thus the power disconnect was evident not just in the electrical overhead lines but also in the corridors of power.

That begs the next almost inevitable question of how India is ever going to cope with such crises, when very soon, most of India’s population is about to shift from its villages to its cities. Urbanization experts are predicting that the largest rural country in the world is soon about to become the largest urban country in the world.

If the urban migration cannot be slowed or halted, the resource crises, such as ones for water or electricity will soon engulf most other pressing issues of national importance and national security. And the total dependence on nature, like the current crisis with delayed monsoon winds, highlights how delicate the situation is.

One wonders where the geniuses in the planning commission are when, for the last six decades, everybody including newborn Indian babies have known about these things. India, the world’s soon-to-be most populated country has ridiculously pathetic infrastructural challenges, the kind of which, most of the rest of the developing or developed countries overcame decades ago.

A case in example is in India’s most advanced city which today, is bragging about an over-the-water bridge being opened to the public this week after an agonizing wait of 10 years, when the neighboring China and Japan built several more bridges like that in less than half the time and spanning more than several multiples in length.

So one truly wonders what the chief ministers or cabinet level central ministers are smoking when they keep telling the citizens that the country is prepared to handle water, power or food crises.

“…There is absolutely no need for any panic or worry. This trend of delayed monsoon activity is nothing new. As Agriculture Minister at the Centre, and in Maharashtra before that, I have seen such a trend. Even last year there were good rains in the beginning. After that there was a lull for a week. Again it started raining and again stopped for one to two weeks. Thereafter it continued to rain heavily…” the agriculture Minister told the media.

The food minister promises there won’t be a drought. The science minister promises the monsoon winds will eventually manage to find their way to India. The Defense minister promises India is prepared to handle national security as never before. The chief ministers promise their states are prepared to handle crises they’re already in. Cricket team captains promise their teams are fittest and readiest to become world champions. Bollywood item girl Rakhi Sawant promises she wants to get married to one of the 16 eligible bachelors on India’s copy of the Bachelorette show.

Man, are we screwed or what.

Jun

28

Testosterone and mercury, in a tropical tango

June 28, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

A recent study by University of Minnesota scientists has concluded that humans and animals delay reproduction when resources are scarce, living longer as a result. “..Food scarcity is a signal that population is likely to decline, so reproduction is delayed..”, concluded the study. The study also cited fluctuations in testosterone levels as an example of how the environment and organisms interact to guide reproduction.

To me, those conclusions don’t seem to hold water here in India. The natural resources, including food and water have been scarce for a long time in this part of the planet. Starved or satiated, urban or rural, northerners or southerners, hungry or thirsty, literate or illiterate, Indians over last several centuries, seem to have had very high levels of testosterone levels. In fact, scarcer the resources, higher was the reproducing rate, sending the population over a billion, dwarfing the rest of the planet in reproduction rates.

But why just humans, even animal behavior in India pretty much thwarts the Minnesota study. Stray animals and urban pigeons, seemingly fighting for scant resources, seem to be reproducing at astonishing rates all over India, especially in big cities where resources would be expected to be scarcer.

And in those same big cities, the human population, fighting for water that shows up at their taps only a few minutes per day and standing in long lines over pretty much everything else, doesn’t seem to mind that scarcity. No matter what the conditions, people don’t seem to be able to keep it in their pants.

But that’s a fact that scientists from colder regions just can’t understand, I think. Up there in Minnesota, with the outside temperatures dipping close to zero, the scientific imagination seems to shrink a bit, probably because of a brain freeze. Here in the hot and humid tropics, testosterone and mercury seem to be in a perpetual embrace, doing a hot sexy tango. Add a dash of scarcity to the heat and you really can’t tell between humans and animals.

Jun

27

Fair wives and unfair Gods

June 27, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

Rumor mills are still abuzz about how Michael Jackson changed his skin color from black to white. To be fair to Mr. Jackson, the transformation of his own skin turned out to be a skin condition. But most girls of marrying age and most wannabe brides in India, know how critical it is to enhance themselves with at least a couple of shades fairer than their true colors.

In fact, from time immemorial, India’s beauty industry has always focused on selling the secrets of fairness. In a land where dust, sweat & pollution make up the most of the challenges to a person’s appearance, the make-up barons have made a fortune out of the idea that applying certain substances to the skin can eventually turn it into fairer shades, the ones desired by a prospective bride’s future groom and in-laws. Young maidens all over India dream of the haldi ceremony, a fixture in traditional Indian marriages, an elaborate fun-and-giggle-filled musical happening where the bride gets creamed with layers of turmeric mixed with other herbal materials. Even in day-to-day lives, gram-flours to lemon drops to turmeric powder to cow-dung to talcum powders, every substance in nature is routinely tried and tested in the millions of homes all across India, in the hopes of fairer-ness.

Although fairness may appear to be a national obsession in India, the twist in the tale is that Indians do not necessarily worship fairer Gods. In fact, Krishna, India’s erstwhile deity, is revered for his dark skin color with its hypnotic blue shade. The Sanskrit word Krishna literally means dark or black. The traditional songs and prayers to Krishna praise his dark blue skin, a feature that sets him apart from the rest of India’s humanity and moreover, its divinity.

There in the center of it
abides Krishna
Of the color of a dark cloud
In the bloom of youth
Clad in yellow raiment
Splendidly adorned with celestial gems
And holding a flute

- (Horace Hayman Wilson, Translation of Vishnu Purana)

Jun

26

Marriages made in hell

June 26, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

More than the Swine flu epidemic, the real epidemic that has engulfed India of today is an epidemic of rapes and gangrapes that, on a daily basis, victimizes scores of women across India. Open up any newspaper, tune in to any television station, and you would be reading about or viewing a gangrape story.

But the eastern state of Orissa has a solution for lives that get destroyed and traumatized by the rapes. All across that state, there’s a new wave of marriages - between the rapists and the raped - supported by the government authorities and social welfare agencies, as well as non-governmental agencies.

In what is being called a reform and a rehab measure, mostly purported to be a way to address the social stigma that the rape victims typically face, the novel marriage schemes have now become a part of the judicial scene where the rapists are using this as a ruse to reduce severe punishments for their crimes.

Some have argued that such marriages restore the ‘lost dignity’ of women. Others have proposed that this is a mutual compromise situation in what is perceived as a no-win scenario for either party. Still others advocate marriage as a measure to regain the victims’ self-respect.

Not everyone agrees. And a few rational minds have opposed the marriage schemes labeling them as ‘get out of jail’ cards for rapists and questioning the basis of such marriages.

Incredibly, even these marriage schemes do not have an answer for those women who are raped by their own, like minors raped by fathers and stepfathers and married women raped by fathers-in-law.

And there are cases where either the victim or the perpetrator is a minor.

Or where the victim or the perpetrator is well past 60 and 70.

And then there are rape victims who themselves or their attackers are already married at the time they are violated.

Or where the rapist is the husband himself, already married to the victim, inviting his friends over for a wild dinner party.

Or where the perpetrator is an employer in a domestic help situation.

Marrying victims to their violators. Ha!

Jun

25

Top 10 ways India is battling rain crisis

June 25, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

India, this month, is facing a huge water crisis because of the delayed monsoon winds that usually show up in the first week of June, but have failed to arrive this year, throwing all economic predictions to the winds. But India’s government and people are readying for the crisis, handling it in a way only they can. Here are the top 10 things that are being done to address the water crisis.

1. Y S Rajasekhara Reddy (aka YSR), The chief minister of the state of Andhra Pradesh has ordered all temples, mosques and churches to conduct special prayers to attract the monsoon winds.

2. The irrigation officials from the same state of Andhra Pradesh are trying a different route. They have begun a new irrigation scheme named after none other than YSR, the chief minister of the state. If you are wondering if that would make the rain Gods jealous, the farmers from the state have in fact built a temple deitifying the chief minister where people have been offering prayers to the chief minister.

3. The government of the state of Madhya Pradesh is also doing everything it can to bring rains to the state. The chief minister of this state has ordered ancient fire rituals and has brought in expert priests from the neighboring Maharashtra state. The state’s citizens too, are doing their bit by offering milk, curd, sugar, ghee and honey to Lord Shiva.

4. The state of Karnataka may get some relief if the state’s chief minister’s prayers are answered. He was recently seen visiting the neighboring state of Tamilnadu, offering prayers at the Lord Nataraja temple in Tamil Nadu’s Chidambaram and Kumbakonam, and Lord Saneeswarar temple in Puducherry.

5. Goa is doing its bit by offering prayers to St Anthony. Mascarenhas, a local historian, recalled the local tradition where people ascend the hills to the crosses atop, carrying stones on their heads. “The invocations would end with an ejaculation”, he said, “…We have sinned oh Lord and have pity on us and send us rain!”

6. The state of Maharashtra was trying a different approach. Citizens in Nagpur married two frogs to attract the rain gods’ attention. Raja and Rani, two local frogs, were married in a solemn ritual in the ancient vedic tradition.

7. Delhi’s local government too, stepped into action. The state’s newly re-elected chief minister advised the public to use power judiciously. “You do the same too“, replied her voters.

8. Not to be left behind, India’s central government too, was feverishly working to bring an end to the rain crisis. “…The plan as to what is to be done if there is excess monsoon or a deficient monsoon is in place in every department of the government…”, uttered Prithviraj Chavan, the minister of Science and Technology. He also assured the nation that the Prime Minister was personally monitoring the situation and the Cabinet Secretary was meeting all the secretaries.

9. Maybe the rain gods need new glasses or something. As the rest of the country was suffering the lack of the monsoon clouds, the desert state of Rajasthan was said to be gearing up for a record flood situation. No word yet on whether the chief minister had ordered prayers to shoo the rain Gods away from the state.

10. One wonders what the residents of the state of Gujarat have been praying for. The citizens of Vadodara did not get a visit from the rain gods, but instead were shocked to see naked women roaming the streets.

Jun

24

Recently, the Reserve Bank of India issued a fake currency detection drive, when it noticed counterfeit versions of several denominations all over India. Just a few days, workers receiving wages at a government project found out that the cash handed out for their hard labor turned out to be fake currency. There have been reports of millions of fake paper denominations in circulation, especially the thousand rupee note.

Here are a few basic ways to find out if that Rs 1000 in your hand is a genuine or a fake. Look at the side that has Gandhi’s picture, and study the paper bill holding it horizontally at eye level.

1000 rupees security features

1. On the left side, there is a big watermark area that shows you Gandhi’s picture in black and white, with lines going off in many directions.

2. Several portions of the paper bill have raised prints (intaglio prints) - Gandhi’s picture on the right side, the circular bank seal below and to the right of that picture, the governor’s signature near bottom center and the words above it, the three lions (Ashoka pillar emblem) near the bottom left.

3. To the right of the Gandhi image on the right, is a wide vertical band. When held at eye level, it will show the numbers 1000 written from the bottom to the top.

4. A windowed vertical thread with inscriptions saying ‘bharat’ (in Hindi), ‘1000′ & ‘RBI’.

5. A raised print of a diamond shape to the left of the Gandhi watermark and below the floral shape.

6. A floral shape that exactly matches a similar shape on the other side of the paper bill, when held against light

7. Blue & green color shift that shows the numbers 1000 in the middle in green when the paper bill is held flat, but in blue when held at an angle.

8. Apart from these simple seven measures, you can also see the fluorescent serial numbers on top right and scattered optical fibers around those, when seen in uv light.

9. Another simple check is the size of the 1000 Rupees (177mm x 73mm).

10. And the simplest check of all is to make sure the Gandhi image is the good old Mohandas Gandhi and not one of his less deserving namesakes.

Jun

23

Who exactly doesn’t teach animosity?

June 23, 2009 posted by indiatime | 8 Comments

Six teachers and a teacher’s aide have now been suspended in the state of Kerala, after a textbook was found to include the wrong version of a revered patriotic poem.

The famous poem ‘Sare Jahaan se achcha‘ (aka Tarana-e-Hindi), written by once proudly patriotic Indian poet Allama Iqbal, was originally meant to say this -

Religion doesn’t teach animosity (or ill-will)
We are Indians (Hindi), India (Hindustan) is our homeland…

‘Sare Jahaan se achcha’, the patriotic poem first published in 1904, is one of the most widely known and liked pieces of patriotic poetry in India. Kerala’s board of education was aghast, however, when the Malayalam (local language) version of the famous poem changed the most famous lines in the poem at the most important word. The six teachers and their aide, mistakenly (big mistake, they know now) replaced the word ‘religion’ by the name of prophet Muhammad.

The mistake was exposed by a teacher from the Kozhikode district, and is soon slated to be withdrawn from the textbook. The teachers have now been suspended and an investigation has begun into how the word ‘religion’ was replaced.

Interestingly, only a few years after he wrote the Tarana-e-Hindi (Song of India) however, poet Iqbal changed into a much less secular version of his former self, writing a patriotic song for an Islamic homeland, a song called ‘Tarana-e-Milli’.

Back in 1984, when asked by his prime minister how India appeared from space, Rakesh Sharma, India’s first man in space replied, ‘Sare Jahan se Achcha‘ meaning ‘The best in the world‘. Whenever India decides on the first man/woman to walk on the moon, none of the seven teachers from Kerala will be making the list. Who knows what they will say when Rahul Gandhi asks them that same question in 2015.

Jun

22

Police brutality and popular uprisings

June 22, 2009 posted by indiatime | 1 Comment

Three separate news stories that dominated the headlines last week, illustrate how the law enforcement authorities in India are the biggest threat to the rule of law in India.

The first story came from the northeast where 5 of India’s states are under an insurgent siege following a popular uprising by the so-called Maoist rebels. People’s Committee Against Police Atrocities (PCAPA), a tribal movement-turned political force, have recently gone on a warpath, upping the ante by violent demonstrations, an act of defiance against the state and local governments that had thus far utterly neglected the discontent, allowing the local police to wreak havoc at will.

The second story came from the state of Uttar Pradesh, where Ghanshyam Kevat, an infamous dacoit was hunted down and shot to death by the state police. Whereas the police chiefs in the state are interviewing in front of the national media and dreaming big rewards, the dead dacoit’s relatives and neighbors have been telling a different story. They recall Ghanshyam as a man driven to desperation and revenge after his 9-year old niece was raped by a local big shot, knocking every law enforcement door to seek justice, but turned down, mocked and humiliated by the local authorities.

The third story came from Kashmir where a judicial probe has now blamed the police for destroying evidence, and even hinted at the police’s involvement in the rape and murder of two local women. Within days of two local women being found murdered in the canal, the state police had closed the investigation labeling it a case of drowning, and the state’s chief minister, the topmost government authority, kept insisting there was no foul play.

The common theme amongst all the three stories is the police force that regularly flaunts the judicial process, the local governments that continue to be in denial and the idiots in the central government that seem incapable of grasping the basics of such uprisings.

Jun

21

Ali Akbar Khan, sarod pioneer (1922-2009)

June 21, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

“….If you practice for ten years, you may begin to please yourself, after 20 years you may become a performer and please the audience, after 30 years you may please even your guru, but you must practice for many more years before you finally become a true artist — then you may please even God….”
Ali Akbar Khan (Sarod maestro)

Ali Akbar Khan’s death last Thursday, is like an end to an institution that had carried the flag of Indian classical music in the west for over a half century. Ali Akbar Khan and brother-in-law Ravi Shankar were the face and the fingers of Indian music in the west, propelling its ancient system of swars, ragas and talas into the world conscience, and making way for future generations of Indian classical musicians to be all that they could be.

In his book ‘The Dawn of Indian Music in the West’, Peter Lavezzoli writes about the first time the Indian classical music played on American television:

Ali Akbar Khan, Chatur Lal (Tabla virtuoso) and Shanta Rao ( Bharat Natyam dancer) became the first Indian classical artists to appear on television in the United States, when they appeared on Omnibus, a cultural program supported by Ford Foundation that was instrumental in sponsoring Ali AKbar Khan’s visit to the United States. So on the Sunday afternoon of April 10, 1955, Yehudi Menuhin introduced the Indian trio to the American audiences. For the next few minutes, Ali Akbar Khan and Chatur Lal managed to give a very short demo and then Shanta Rao performed the Bharat Natyam for about 5 minutes. The overall Indian demo, titled ‘Dances of India’, lasted barely 10 minutes.

Later that month, Khan and Chatur Lal played in New York, getting these reviews:

“…Clearly this music is meant to be relished both for its patterns and its performance…repeatedly enchanted by rhythms, colors, sonorities and melodic bits…especially impressed by the power of this modest ensemble speaking an exotic tongue to reach out and say something to another world….”

“…have never before encountered quite the degree of virtuosity in this idiom….found their music endlessly fascinating from a technical point of view and curiously hypnotic in its emotional effect….”

Over a period of decades, Khan won 5 grammy nominations, more than 5 honorary doctorate degrees from prestigious universities, trained more than 10,000 American students in Sarod. Here’s a short clip about Ali Akbar, whom Yehudi Menuhin once called the greatest musician in the world.

Jun

20

Fast, industrious and innovative

June 20, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

With a week, back to back, yet another new car gets introduced to the Indian market. Last week it was Honda Jazz. This week it is Fiat’s Grande Punto. The automobile market, already overflowing the infrastructural restraints, is about to explode even more within the next few years, as India is seen as an especially big and emerging market for cars.

But much more exciting than that, is a story about student hobbyists in India, designing and building new cars. All over India, small groups of students from local engineering colleges seem to be getting into the act. RV College of Engineering in Bangalore, MM college of Engineering in Ambala, Amity College of Engineering in Delhi, have recently produced students who have designed, produced and built model cars that could almost be considered roadworthy. Almost.

Earlier this year, Sramana Mitra wrote in the Forbes about the ‘big change’ in the Indian mindset whereby ’secure servitude’ in working with the government was replaced by the newly growing outsourcing servitude, stemming the tide of Indian innovation in the bud. A few years ago, in a series of detailed articles, Arindam Banerji wrote about India’s innovation hopes and obstacles, outlining the disruptive ways innovation happens or doesn’t in India.

One good thing about the car designing hobbyists is that it doesn’t take much to keep a young student interested in designing cars. It’s much, much harder to keep the students interested in some basic research that can cure a disease a hundred years later or work on something that has no immediate rewards or satisfactions. And although so far the only reward seems to be a good job offer at some automotive company, a little extra effort and a little extra mile can probably go a long way for some of these folks who are venturing out of the ordinary rigors of education.

It used to be that one would have to be a prime minister’s or an industrialist’s son to launch a car company in India. Not any more, hopefully.

Jun

19

Minor matters

June 19, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

Life is tough for 14-old Indian girls, it seems. At home, abroad or anywhere. Here are three different stories that illustrate the fact.

1. 14-year old saved from forced marriage
The Gujarat police reached just in time to put a stop to a 14-year old orphan being forced into marriage with a 24-year old. The incident happened in Veerawada village, where the marriage was being attended to by the village elders and the local glitterati. The orphan girl’s uncle, who was the perpetrator behind the forced marriage, was however not charged with the Child Marriage Act of 1929. The police made him promise them that he would not forcibly marry his niece off until she is 18. “You can do it once she is 18″, they said.

2. Man gets life for setting 14-year old girl ablaze
Also in Gujarat, Haresh Ahir was sentenced to life for setting a 14-year old on fire after she refused his marriage proposal. Aarti Goswami, 14, succumbed to her burns last March, but not before recounting the horror of an older man proposing and forcing marriage. The judge also slapped a $100 monetary fine on Ahir for murdering the 14-year old.

3. 14-year old Indian girl’s killer jailed in Canada
Far away in Canada, 14-year old Reena Virk’s murderer got her guilty verdict restored. 12 years ago, 14-year old Reena Virk, a second-generation Indian-Canadian, was beaten and drowned in a gorge near Victoria, Canada. The Canadian courts had rejected the guilty verdicts against the accused, but yesterday’s supreme court verdict will now put the murderer behind bars for at least 20 years. Others in the group that murdered Reena, have previously been sentenced, most getting away with lighter sentences.

Jun

18

Top 10 travel tips to Gujarat

June 18, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

Gujarat state tourism has some travel tips for tourists. Here is a summed up list in no particular order:

1. Bear in mind that people are often pleased to see foreigners in local dress -

Foreigners should bring in their collection of Indian dresses including their favorite head scarves ‘that can come in handy’.

2. If you are wearing expensive jewellery, keep it low-key so as not to attract theft

3. Unlike other states in India, walking around in urban and rural areas in this state is safe. It is less safer in less populated areas. But you will probably have the most difficulty in thick crowds at fairs, festivals, and programs. If you do get physically harassed, try and approach the situation as calmly as you can, but don’t hesitate to address it with the person -

Wow. This means foreigners should not venture into areas that are neither urban nor rural. Secondly, it is safer to walk in more populated areas, but totally unsafe to walk in most populated areas. Thirdly, if you are harrassed, you should calmly take out your head scarf that you brought along with you and calmly put it around the troublemakers and should calmly give a tug and pull it tight.

4. There is very little contact physical between men and women in Gujarat.
I’ll be damned. How the heck did the population go up in those more populated areas?

5. Be sure to keep water and snacks with you. Carry puffed rice and a knife to peel fruit. Use ziploc bags to at half-eaten food later.

- Half-eaten food that you yourself ate half. Not to put others’ half-eaten food you dummy.

6. Consider homeopathy if your child falls sick. Many children need a particular blanket to feel secure.

- Who knew Gujarat state was promoting homeopathy? And blanket merchants as well? If only we knew what particular blanket and where to get it.

7. For disabled travelers, Gujarat state is in the process of gathering information about them.

8. Encourage your children to window-shop instead of real shopping, as a cultural learning experience.

9. Before the trip, involve your kid in the itinerary and other travel decisions, if they are old enough for conversation -

Better keep mum about your travel plans if they are younger than old enough.

10. Women visitors, especially those traveling alone, might come across difficulties that men do not. -

We know and care, because our the local women, too, come across those same difficulties that men do not.

And one more:

11. While you will often see men holding hands with each other in friendship, anything more would be considered inappropriate.

In friendship, holding anything more than hands is inappropriate.

Jun

17

Naked man in Kolkata school sparks mass fainting

June 17, 2009 posted by indiatime | 9 Comments

…Many girls fainted and others are still traumatized….The girls returned home and complained to their parents. Some are still complaining of dizziness….Some girls apparently passed out while a few vomited……

It wasn’t toxic gas fumes. It wasn’t food poisoning. And it wasn’t UFOs. The Kolkata school girls had just witnessed a young man who had walked in their all-girls school’s corridor, removed his clothes right in the school corridor and made gestures at the girls and their teacher.

The miscreant entered the school around noon yesterday, walked towards the class X on the second floor, and then once in front of the class X, calmly and ‘unhurriedly’ took off his clothes, watching the girls and their teacher faint and vomit and turn dizzy.

Later, concerned parents showed up at the school, and met with the principal, demanding an explanation and an apology from her. The principal summoned the security guard who opined that it wasn’t possible to keep tabs on everyone entering the school.

The school authorities labeled it an act of a ‘deranged man’, but a local psychologist opined that mentally deranged individuals would not take off their clothes after entering classrooms, contending that the act was the result of increasing frustration and stress. The psychologist, however, did not offer any explanation for the mass fainting and vomiting by the school girls.

But there isn’t going to be any investigation of the matter, since the offending miscreant ran away and the shocked and traumatized school authorities haven’t filed any charges. Some parents, however are demanding that the Biology teacher be fired, blaming her for the girls’ shock and awe.

Jun

16

Here is how some people reacted to Bollywood hunk Shiney Ahuja’s detention on charges of raping his maid.

My husband is innocent and all this is rubbish. I love him very much. He is a wonderful father and a great partner. He’s a man with a golden heart. The entire family stands by him…
- Anupam Ahuja (wife)

As members of the society, we really cannot do anything about it. Besides, we have never heard of Shiney Ahuja indulging in such acts before.
- an Ahuja family member

When I worked with him he did not come across as that sort of person
- Vinod Pande, producer

He had done a lot of charity work while I was looking after his public relations
- Dale Bhagwagar, Ahuja’s (already) ex public relations person

I am sure there’s some misunderstanding here.
- Sudhir Mishra, filmmaker

We’ve bonded over a long period of time. Never has there been even a hint of bad behaviour from him. I wouldn’t have tolerated it. I remember once long ago a spotboy had behaved badly with a lady on my sets, I had fired him immediately. One has to be very careful about these things. It’s not fair to try Shiney on television.
- Anurag Basu, director

You can’t do this to a man who has a family, career and a bright future.
- Mukesh Bhatt, filmmaker, addressing the media and the maid

It is absolutely obvious that the age of empires has ended and its revival will not take place.
- Ahmadinejad, Iranian president

there is no other alternative but to pursue the path of dialogue, it is in our vital interest to try again to make peace
- Manmohan Singh, Prime minister

We are shying away from pin-pointing our weaknesses and fixing responsibility. We are hoping that time shall heal our wounds
- Yashwant Sinha, senior leader of opposition

When a volcano is on even a small spark (chingari) can make it flare up further
- Sushma Swaraj, a little less senior leader of opposition

Viru & I know what happened between us
- Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain of Indian cricket team

And that hopefully is going to be a topic at the G-8 summit, as well…
- Barack Obama, US president

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Translations




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Meeting Raj Kapoor at the barbershop
Madhubala on a postal stamp
Why I’m happier than Mukesh Ambani
An inconvenient truth about India’s intellectual property
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Dr Singh is no Dr King
Lesser Known Indians
The Most ‘Nobel’ Teacher of Them All
The third Indian revered in China
A little Poland in India
The vanishing of Indian languages
The looting of Chandigarh’s treasures
Bharat, Pakistan and Hindustan, Indiana
Welcome to India, Steve!
Top 5 explanations for the president’s gesture
An IIT on every street, an IIM on every block
Pakistan, Jinnah, Wadias and the American anthem
An IAS officer’s nightmare of lustful, lascivious stares comes true