Mar

31

Munnabhai can’t be an MP

March 31, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

India’s Supreme court has just barred famous Bollywood actor Sanjay Dutt from contesting next month’s parliamentary elections. Dutt’s 1993 assault weapons possession conviction did him in, and his arguments about his famous family’s long history of service to the nation failed to persuade the top court to allow him to be a parliamentarian.

Over last few months, Dutt has become a poster boy in the issue of criminalization of politics. Which is unfortunate. Not as much for Sanjay Dutt, but for the issue of criminalization of politics. Dutt himself is a victim of his own past mistakes and does indeed stand convicted of a serious charge, no matter how successfully and how convincingly he has changed his paths and perhaps broken away from a misspent past.

But those who think that today’s Supreme court decision indicates cleaner times for Indian politics, are too optimistic. At present, there are about 1200+ pending cases against sitting members of India’s parliament and legislative assemblies. Many of them are section 302 (murder), kidnapping, extortion or similar serious charges. Many of them are probably true.

Dutt’s case is unique because he committed a crime in his youth and decided to contest the parliamentary elections almost two decades later. Had he made that decision before his conviction in 2007, he would be sitting pretty in the parliament and his conviction wouldn’t have seen the light of the day. Which is what is happening to most of those 1200+ cases, where the plaintiffs have been waiting for years and in some cases decades, to get a court to rule on the charges. Additionally, members of parliaments and legislative assemblies have such sweeping powers that they are able to influence the whole spectrum of official powers - from law enforcement to the judiciary. So besides those 1200+ actual cases, there must be 12000+ other cases that never made it to the courts, because the plaintiffs in many of those cases were just too afraid to go to the courts.

That’s what happened to the father of a close friend who had, many years ago, bought a small piece of land for a chump change in an industrial area, hoping that someone in the family would one day benefit from his smart purchase. Within a few decades that piece of land became part of a precious location with a major national highway created nearby. Soon, a local politician sent his goons with an agreement that my friend’s father was forced to sign. Those men didn’t threaten him but they made it pretty clear that they needed the land and he would have to settle for their ridiculously low offer. The father, a family man, didn’t care as much for the piece of land as he did for his family, and he signed the papers.

Today, that local politician is a high profile cabinet minister in Delhi, holding a major portfolio. He is also a billionaire, a hugely successful land baron, and very likely to become the next prime minister of India. In past times, several people tried to bring him to justice and filed charges and the courts in his state even dismissed his election wins a few times. No matter.

So those who think this is such a bright day because an easy target like Sanjay Dutt was sanctioned, need to remember, that far more sinister criminals and far more criminalized politicians sit in the same parliament and may very well become our ruling elite in a few weeks. Dutt’s case is a mere drop in the ocean, and he is merely a wannabe politician. India’s politics, to a large degree, still remains a domain for criminals. If you don’t believe that, then pick any politician, find out his/her real net worth, find out how many years he/she has been working or holding a public office, find out how much our representatives get paid per month. Then go do your math and tell me why his/her net worth is a zillion times what it should have been.

Mar

30

Does India need sex offender registries?

March 30, 2009 posted by indiatime | 23 Comments

Recently there has been a a spate of rapes and sexual assaults on minors in India. Many of these are incestuous assaults, as in the case of a Punjab minor’s rape by her own father, a gang-rape of an 11-year old mute girl in Surat , rape of a 12-year old mute in the same town of Surat, so many of these in the news every day.

One of the social issues and consequences of such cases in India, is the ostracization of the rape victims, while their offenders seem to enjoy relative freedom and little ostracization from society. Many other countries have chosen to go just the other way, with creating registries of sex offenders and pedophiles, and making them available to communities and putting them online for public record.

In United States, the 1994 rape and murder of Megan Kanka prompted Megan’s law which enforced states across the US to enforce legislations mandating public notification of personal information about sex offenders. The US has had sex offender registrations for several decades, but community notification and awareness mandates did not come into effect until much later.

One of the reasons such registries are said to be helpful is that prior sex offenders have been found to be several-times more likely to repeat such offenses. The registries and publicly available online records can help raise awareness and warn alert parents about the dangers lurking around in their communities. As for the cases where parents or relatives themselves are responsible for such attacks and offenses, shaming such perpetrators by revealing their realities, can be an and added deterrent.

The change in the American laws in this regard is attributed to the zealous work by Megan’s parents. India will have to wait for that spirit of activism - which needs to come either from a future victim’s family, or some alert and aware non-governmental body.

Mar

29

Remembering martyr Dhirendranath Datta

March 29, 2009 posted by indiatime | 3 Comments

dhirendra nath dattaExactly 28 years ago this day, the Pakistani army raided the home of 86-year old Dhirendramath Datta, an Indian freedom fighter, who had worked with Mahatma Gandhi and Deshbanhdu Chittaranjan Das. The venue was Comilla, in the then east Pakistan. The Pakistani army then kidnapped Datta and his son Dilip to a nearby army camp in Mainamati, then mercilessly beat & tortured them with bayonets, and finally shot them to death, before dumping their bodies into a neaby ditch.

Dhirendranath Datta, an ex-schoolteacher, a lawyer, a Gandhian, a parliament member and a former minister for social welfare in East Pakistan, died a martyr at the hands of a brutal Pakistani regime. His crime was his advocacy of the Bengali language, and his leadership in the Bengali language movement, demanding that Arabic script and Urdu not be forced upon the Bengali speaking majority of independent East Pakistan after 1947.

I write this today because 28 years after the Pakistani army tortured and shot dead a non-violent freedom fighter of Indian independence movement, the world outside of South Asian borders, and especially the west, has learnt few lessons about Pakistan’s oppressive and brutal record over last few decades. I write this today not just as a reminder about a forgotten hero, but also as a reminder about the continuous abuse and blatant violations of trust by Pakistan of the huge military and humanitarian aid given to it by the west.

Yesterday, President Obama unveiled his latest strategy for the unstable northwest Asia. A major part of that strategy hinges on a stable and democratic Pakistan. THAT is a fantasy that the west and especially the United States needs to get over. Since Pakistan’s independence in 1947, every American president has bought Pakistan’s lies about being an ally to the west, and have delivered huge amounts of military and financial aid. After all that 6 decades of aid, Pakistan of today is the biggest threat to world peace and the worst enemy of the west, its purported military might and arrogance funded and strengthened by the American taxpayer.

All Dhirendranath Datta argued for was letting his people speak Bengali instead of Urdu. For saying that aloud, he got a bullet in his head. That was March 29th of 1971. Surprizingly, not much has changed in Pakistan since its arrogance split it in two, back in ‘71. Surprizingly, not much has changed in the American policy towards Pakistan, in spite of Pakistani spy agency’s complicity and involvement in 9/11 and 26/11 and God knows how many other terror attacks. And surprizingly, India too, has failed to make any gains, vis-a-vis changing the world view on Pakistan’s true colors.

Mar

28

The politics of hate speech

March 28, 2009 posted by indiatime | 6 Comments

Varun Gandhi, the next-generation representative of India’s first prime minister Nehru, sits in jail today, thanks to a not-so-rousing burst of hate speech. What seemed to be a news without legs barely a week ago, has now morphed with wings in a politically charged year. “…I will cut the hands of those who raise their hands in violence against Hindus….”, said Varun Gandhi to a crowd of supporters, and those few words now have him facing his first political prison term, something his great-grandpa had once gotten used to.

Newbie as he is to politics, Varun Gandhi’s words did hardly fan flames of hate or anything. He isn’t that important. At least yet, that is. The accusations that his antiloquence challenged and probably came close to inciting violence, seem a little exaggerated because there is a difference in being an eloquent antiloquent and an ineffective antiloquent. For now, Varun Gandhi belongs to the latter category, and so must consider himself lucky to have got himself into this controversy, because this controversy has finally got him the name recognition he seems to have been vying for.

Back in the 1950s, noted Harvard psychologist Gordon Allport devised a grading scale to measure prejudice within a society. In it, he covers the spectrum of prejudicial hatred from antilocution or hate speech, all the way to extermination or genocide -

1. antilocution or hate speech
2. avoidance
3. discrimination
4. physical attacks
5. genocide

India’s election commission is trying to send a message to Varun Gandhi that hate speech, especially in a multiracial country like India, can quickly turn into physical attacks, at the least. Most who have followed India’s recent history know and are surely aware of many other politicians and leaders cleverly playing hopscotch with Gordon Allport’s hate scale. What Varun Gandhi has yet to learn is that fear is a weapon which cannot be used with reticence. Almost everyone will agree that Varun Gandhi hardly has the ability to rouse people into riots or fighting on the streets. He is merely trying to get his name out there by doing what every other Indian politician has done in recent years, pandering to this group, bashing that group, banking on racial vote banks and endangering the lives and destiny of everyone around.

Varun Gandhi is still a kindergarten student at that hate school. India is full of politicians who have gone on to doctorate level hatred, learning and teaching the tricks of the trade, building huge political parties and making billions for themselves. Had India’s election commission had any balls, they would have sent almost every other Indian politician to the slammer, freeing those outside of the hatred and prejudice we have had to live with.

Mar

27

Chandigarh twins in trouble

March 27, 2009 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

Bollywood’s writers have given India stories about identical twins couldn’t have written this any better. Prem Singh and Rattan Singh, the identical twins from Chandigarh, pulled a huge one on the government for almost 3 decades. Almost thirty years ago, Prem Singh, the brighter of the two, cleared two entrance exams & interviews and landed two nice jobs - one with the central government and another one with the state government. He obviously couldn’t take them both. So he took one. And gave the other one to his twin brother Rattan - who, for the next 3 decades dutifully served his state government.

They didn’t need to alter or forge or doctor any documents either. They had the same date of birth, same height, same weight, same voice, everything - Identical! Not surprizingly, as is the case with most government jobs, Rattan Singh’s ineptitude wasn’t discovered for….well it just wasn’t, until he himself blew it. After 3 decades as an officer of the local state government, the less brighter twin applied for vountary retirement from a job that he had voluntarily stolen. He would still have been okay, until he pushed his luck a little too far, that is. He demanded an early release of all his superannuation/retirement benefits - money that wouldn’t have come to him for a few more years. Unfortunately for the twins, Rattan Singh’s single moment of greed, unveiled the deception they both had successfully pulled for a long time.

There is a hilarious Bollywood movie called Golmaal, in which a young man lands a job by impersonating a twin brother that he has never had, two-timing his boss and the boss’s daughter (of course). Singh brothers’ saga is a 30 year golmaal , the next chapter of which will be written on location inside the local jail in Chandigarh. Just for fun, the court should sentence one of them to a longer sentence than the other and let the twins decide who will impersonate whom.

Mar

26

NRI fights for open funeral pyres in Britain

March 26, 2009 posted by indiatime | 7 Comments

Davender Ghai, a non-resident Indian in Great Britain, is fighting for his life. Actually, it will be fair to say that he is fighting for his afterlife. 69-year old Davender Ghai is fighting to change England’s century-old cremation laws that forbid open-air funeral pyres, a common funeral practice in Hinduism. That Cremation act of 1902 restricted burning of human remains outside the confines of crematoria, consequently shutting down the Hindu practice of open funeral pyres.

For Ghai and his followers, is is the issue of religious freedom, the kind of which they believe has already been extended to every other religion being practiced in today’s Great Britain. Plus Ghai is also trying to point attention to a few prior examples of open funerals that did take place after the passing of the 1902 cremation act. The open air funerals of world war 1 Hindu and Sikh veterans in the 1910s and that of a Nepali royal in the 1930s have already pushed the limits of the 1902 act. Ghai himself did his bit as well, when, a few years ago, he himself helped organize an open air funeral for an illegal immigrant, to honor the grieving family’s wishes.

Gita, the Hindu scripture that is the gist of Hinduism, Lord Krishna’s own words about ways of living, and the most frequently cited poetic chants during the Hindu funeral pyres, itself does not include a directive on where the funeral pyres can be held. But for most Hindus, it’s usually the banks of their sacred rivers, at specific locations called ghats. It’s not clear whether Ghai and his followers are aiming to build such ghats on the banks of British rivers. For now, their fight seems to be just against closed and electric crematoria.

Ghai’s fundamental objection to the closed crematoria probably stems from the Hindu belief that Prana, the soul, the vital force of a human being, leaves the body through the cranium, and that the closed crematorial practice restricts that last passage of the human soul. A hundred years ago, such objections may not have mattered as much as they would in this day and age, when there is a huge number of Hindus and Sikhs in Great Britain, and the British are in no shape to decline a popular request by a powerful minority. But Ghai’s request is not as popular as he would like to believe and most Hindus or Sikhs all over the planet aren’t really uniting or anything behind him with much fervor.

We’ve truly come far from the days the British used to crack open the Indian freedom-fighters’ skulls with their sticks. Now, some Indians are fighting for the right to allow their skulls to crack open after death. The vital force of change is in the air once again, confirming Krishna’s assertion that nothing lasts forever.

Mar

25

Kempamma, the middle-aged Bangalore woman who poisoned a dozen women to death, has been sentenced to hang to death. A Bangalore judge, ruling on the murder case of Kempamma’s last victim, sealed the fate of India’s first known serial killer. In a murder spree that spanned almost 10 years, Kempamma robbed and murdered more than 10 victims that the police is aware of.

Ten years ago, this Bangalore housewife’s uneventful world changed after financial woes broke her marriage. Strapped for cash, she probably started robbing nearby women, but quickly morphed into a ruthless killer. Inspired by 1980s Kannada film ‘Auto raja’, Kempamma chose the cyanide syringe as her weapon of choice. She would scout her unsuspecting victims at nearby temples, strike conversations with women who seemed to be in distress, and offered to resolve their problems by performing special religious worships at their homes. Once inside the women’s homes, she would murder then by injecting cyanide, and then later rob their homes outright. Becoming bolder and more adept at what she did, the serial killer within her turned into a spree killer in late 2007, when she murdered at least 5 women over a period of a few weeks.

Many of the details about the murders were elicited only out of narco-analysis/brain-mapping tests conducted on Kempamma, when she revealed details about some cases that had not even been reported before. Kempamma’s case is unique in several ways, not just because she is a ‘rare breed’ in india. She operated entirely by herself, without any accomplices, unlike a few other women killers hanged in India before who had acted together with accomplices. Unlike some other infamous women serial killers, she wasn’t avenging the sexist male population around her.

Kempamma’s financial woes are said to have begun when her chit-fund (Ponzi) pyramid scheme went bust. Had her pyramid scheme succeeded, Kempamma would still be counting her victims, robbing them of their life savings, as Bernard Madoff cleaned his victims out. Back in 1998, her pyramid scheme didn’t take off because she didn’t find enough gullible victims. There were more financially strapped faithfuls lining up the temples than there were gullibles lining up the money-managers’ offices. It sucks to be financially strapped, and it sucks to be gullible. But Kempamma’s victims paid a very high price for that, and now so will she.

Kempamma won’t suffer as her victims did, though. Her death will be instantaneous, humane and considerate. She will surely get to meet with her family and say her goodbyes before she is put to death. And she will also get to waste more taxpayer money than she ever imagined to rob from her own victims. I sometimes wonder why we call the judiciary the justice department.

Mar

24

Break in Delhi women’s murders

March 24, 2009 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

The Delhi cops are claiming success in solving the unrelated murders of two young working women, both supposedly killed on the premise of robbery. The apparent breakthrough came when the police managed to nab the gang that robbed and murdered 28-year old Jigeesha Ghosh. It was the trail of Jigeesha’s credit cards that gave the suspects away who had withdrawn thousands of rupees from the nearby ATMs and then had gone on a shopping spree, buying sunglasses, music CDs, wristwatches and an LCD TV. Luckily for police, one of the shops that the suspects shopped in, had a clear CCTV footage of two of the murderers. Thank god for that.

Although the murder cases are seemingly solved and the suspects are in custody, several questions remain unanswered. The robbery motive just doesn’t wash and that to me is the most worriesome aspect of these murder cases. It is clear that the victims were victims by chance, being picked arbitrarily or maybe even with some pre-planning by by perpetrators. But it is the callousness behind the crimes that is the most stunning part. That callousness tells us that Soumya Viswanathan and Jigeesha Ghosh weren’t the first and only victims of these murderers. There is a habitual, serial and a routine nature to these crimes where the murderers have already reached beyond the deepest darkest depths of ruthless cruelty.

The suspects could easily have kept the money to themselves, but they didn’t. Meaning they had already robbed enough victims where they do not have any urgent need for a few thousands of rupees. For them, those few thousands of rupees hard-earned by victim Jigeesha Ghosh, became petty cash that was to be spent on a shopping binge.

That India’s capital has such serial murderers out in the open moving casually and fearlessly, is horrifying. That there were no witnesses to be found in spite of our metros being the most crowded on the planet, is disturbing. And the shopkeepers who allowed the murderers to buy thousands of rupees worth of stuff using a credit card with a female name, is plain dumb.

For Soumya, one of the victims whose family might have gotten some closure today, the end came after a terrifying car chase where the murderers followed her in their car, shooting at her. I hope the judges will have that picture in mind when the perpetrators are finally sent to gallows. Ideally, the perpetrators need to go through a similar experience too, and should really be sentenced to be chased by bloodhounds throughout the streets and lanes of the capital, leading them to the gallows right in the middle of Delhi’s most public square.

Mar

23

Fordability and affordability

March 23, 2009 posted by indiatime | 11 Comments

In another hour or so, the Nano, Tata’s people’s car, the $2000 automotive wonder, opens for sale at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai. For the Tatas to pull this off is a remarkable testament to the Indian auto giant and its owner’s drive to make yet another mark on the industry that Tatas have virtually owned in India for a good part of the last hundred years. In achieving that mark, Tatas had to clear two major hurdles - Fordability and affordability.

Fordability, if one were to define it, is the ability of an industry to bring the right people to the table, use the right tols and materials, innovate and revolutionize the past ways of working, and forge new methods of producing quality goods in mass quantities. Henry Ford did just that exactly a hundred years ago, revolutionizing the modern world with his Tin Lizzie.

Affordability, if one were to define it in Nanospeak, would be the car’s Rs. 1 Lakh price tag. With the ongoing global economic meltdown, amidst the job losses and the stock market woes, for a company to manage to introduce an inexpensive new car to the first time buyers, brings hope not just to those first time buyers, but to the suppliers and vendors and all the related industries who will be hoping for a turnaround in their fortunes, pinning their big fortunes on the little Nano.

There’s no question that the little Nano has miles to go before Tatas and everyone around them can rest and sleep. There are questions that won’t be answered until the first batch of consumer feedback hits the tarmac. For Nano’s most affordable non-AC version to hit the market right at the beginning of the hot Indian summer can cool some consumers’ enthusiasm. On the other hand, many consumers might be looking at it as not their first but their second family car, still an uncommon phenomenon in India. Then there are questions of burden on India’s already inadequate infrastructure, worsening environmental consequences in the already polluted metros, and fear of additional accidents to the already incredibly rising numbers on India’s crowded roads and highways.

Still, all those things notwithstanding, today is a special day for the Tatas. Like its founder Jamsetji Tata, the pioneer of the Tata group, who was born in Navsari, Gujarat and died in Bauheim, Germany; the little Nano is now expected to travel globally, cheerlead India’s industrial prowess, and jumpstart the new century’s joyride for India’s erstwhile profit corporation. For India Inc, that nanoramic transformation from Navsari to Nanover is a justifiably proud moment, no matter what the little devil has in store for us.

Mar

22

Only in India - March 22, 2009

March 22, 2009 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

1. Shoot thieves if you can, says Bangalore’s top cop
Emulating detective Frank Ochoa of Hollywood’s Death Wish series, Shankar Bidari, the police commissioner of Bangalore is encouraging his citizens to be vigilantes. “…if people transporting money have firearms, they can shoot at robbers in self-defence…”, he said, adding “…the police will completely cooperate in such cases…” The commissioner did not elaborate on whether the police will cooperate with the robbers or the vigilantes.

2. No toilet, no bride
Young girls in Haryana are refusing to marry into families that do not have toilets. The idea of their marital bliss being clouded with the practice of open defecation has hit hard upon the state’s young women, who have now joined in a sanitation movement originally initiated by the state’s non-governmental organizations as well as some governmental agencies. The state has twice as many households with televisions than toilets. Most viewers opined however, that the television programs stink just as well.

3. Thief posing as parliament member is finally nabbed
A thief posing as a member of Indian parliament entered a clothing store and ordered the owner to deliver 50,000 items of clothing to a flood-affected area. The garment merchant delivered the goods, but found about about the robbery when his bank refused to cash the parliament member’s fake check. It was later discovered that the thief in question was a competing garment merchant. There are allegations in the air that India’s parliament currently has 500 thieves posing as people’s representatives. That may eventually be the Delhi defendant’s strongest point when his case comes to court.

4. Slumdog kids enter politics
The little kids who live the part of real slumdogs and did play the same in the now famous movie, have decided to campaign for the ruling party. After the fantastic feeling of the slumdog win cooled down a little, someone finally explianed to the kids that the shortest route from being slumdogs to making millions (without education that is), is by entering politics.

Mar

21

Music teacher hurls slipper at supreme court judge

March 21, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

supreme court judge arijit pasayatYesterday, Arijit Pasayat, a supreme court judge, barely missed a slipper thrown at him by a Mumbai teacher, in a strange case involving contempt charges against the teacher and her colleagues. Judge Pasayat was unhurt as he managed to duck the teacher’s angry attack. Needless to say, the contempt charges that were being discussed got a fast-track ruling getting the women an immediate 3-month jail term.

The teachers in question are a group of music teachers who have been advocating apparently modern methods of education at the Boss School of Music in Vasai, a northern suburb of Mumbai. The school was shut down a few years ago, when some parents alleged of black magic, prostitution and strange things going on at the school. The teachers tried to seek help from the Mumbai court, but it shut down the school for good, and ordered psychiatric tests of every student and teacher at the school. This evoked a very angry reaction from the Boss school management and the teachers, who initially accused the judiciary, the government and the law-enforcement of harassing them. Eventually, the music teachers sharpened their attacks and have recently been equating their plight with ‘genocide’.

The music school remains closed, but it has continued its angry campaign against the system on its website, dedicating more than half of the website to bringing the judiciary down, going to the extent of asking capital punishment for high court and supreme court judges. The contempt proceedings in question were brought up last year. In a response to a contempt notice, the music teachers compared the members of the supreme court bench to Osama Bin Laden. That strange response in defense of a contempt notice sealed the fate of the music teachers, making them stand a contempt trial. Now, six months after that incident, this slipper-throwing has left little doubt that the music teachers do indeed feel contempt towards the supreme court.

The teachers had some new system music school going on in Mumbai for a long time. Somewhere along the way, they landed themselves in some political trouble with some big shots. It may have been a land deal gone wrong, a money-related matter or some other political trouble. But that seemed to uproot the music school, putting the music teachers out of their blooming education business.

But then there’s something so not right about music teachers being so angry at something. Music itself is supposed to soothe the soul and temper the anger inside. Being labeled witches and prostitutes is surely libelous, but calling that a genocide is a beyond the pale. Whatever their original grievance, these music teachers have themselves cast a doubt on their educational methods by letting their anger speak. The greatest works of art and religion in human history have come out of pain and injustice and tears and hard times. Had humans resorted to throwing shoes and slippers as the only response to their anger, humanity would still be walking barefoot in the jungles.

Mar

20

Remembering forgotten heroes

March 20, 2009 posted by indiatime | 1 Comment

Dayanath Singh’s recent article about Gomadhar Konwar, Assam’s forgotten 19th-century hero, is a reminder that history (or historians, if you will) has not always been kind to those who fought the region’s invaders and occupiers. A never-before seen almost 150-years old 30-page manuscript written in Tai language on a tree bark, has now seen the light of day for the first time. In short, the manuscript has brought out the name of Gomadhar Konwar, the exiled prince of 1820’s Assam, as the first soldier who sparked the fires of mutiny against the British, almost 3 decades before the first known soldier mutiny that everyone knows to have happened in 1857.

The manuscript, originally written by prince Gomadhar’s close associate Mokham (Sanjay) Barua, survived 15 decades of light, as it managed to stay with the original author’s descendants in a small village in northeastern India. His account of the prince’s plans and the subsequent defeat and exile, puts the forgotten prince in the ranks of Rani of Jhansi, Mangal Pande and Nanasaheb Peshwa.

That’s pretty exciting. Not just because it’s a new find. But because it opens up a discussion about those who remain nameless instead of churning and grinding the names of heroes whose names have turned into round polished idol stones. Gomadhar was the last in the great line of Ahom kings who ruled the northeast from the 13th to the 18th century, giving the region a 500-plus years of stability after it had enjoyed a 700-plus years of the famous Gupta empire. The Ahom dynasty was uprooted by the battle of Yandabo, the most expensive battle of the British-Indian times, a battle that took the lives of tens of thousands on either side.

Archibald Campbell, the man who won that battle of Yandabo for the British, was later rewarded by a top military spot in the then Bombay, when he was made commander-in-chief of Bombay and later sent to look after the British territory of New Brunswick in Canada. Few people in India have heard of or remember Gomadhar Ahom or Archibald Campbell. At the end of a long, hard-fought battle, Archibald Campbell, the victor and a battle-hardened soldier, was rested and exiled to a higher diplomatic post. And Gomadhar Konwar, the loser, a would-be king, was exiled to the islands of Andaman and Nikobar. A couple centuries later, history has rolled its dice. Archibald Campbell, is long forgotten and out. And Gomadhar is in.

But what better time to out old manuscripts and forgotten heroes. With the national polls a few weeks away, the heroic news couldn’t have come at a better time. With the outing of Gomadhar Konwar’s courageous legacy, the local government and the politicians are now beginning to smell victory at their own battle which they will face in another few weeks. Let your hearts fill with pride and let our voting boxes fill with your votes, they seem to be suggesting. Let’s do this one thing for now, and we’ll build Gomadhar’s statues, name the metro streets after him, and maybe open an IIT with his name, too.

Mar

19

Official matters

March 19, 2009 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

Public officials are a unique species of animals. The tropical variety of this animal is found everywhere in India, particularly inhabits the municipalities/city councils and migrates to cooler climate during the summer months. Their uniquely developed and specially skills psychological attributes and physical traits set them apart in a a country of middle-class majority which seems to be in their total awe. Some of the most notable of these traits are their thick skin, a highly developed brain, and repetitive behavior. This repetitive behavior is so unique that instead of these animals having to adapt with their surroundings, it makes the surroundings adapt to their repetitive stupidities.

A case in example is the commissioner of the mega city of Mumbai. Mr. Jairaj Phatak earned a reputable mention on this site, when he opined about Mumbai’s uncovered manholes during the monsoon last year. His pet peeve seemed to be invoking the ‘them too’ argument. ‘The Them’ in this case are the ‘foreign countries and the west’ who also seem to be suffering from the same problems that Mumbai suffers from under Mr. Phatak’s commissionary tutelage. So last year, when someone brought up the tragedy of Mumbaikars falling and disappearing into Mumbai’s uncovered manholes, the commissioner contended that many foreign metros still had uncovered manholes.

The commissioner continued making the exact same argument when he repeated his ‘foreign countries’ mantra speaking about Mumbai’s deteriorating flooding situation. “…Mumbai’s citizens need to learn to live with the flodding the same way people of Netherlands have learnt to live with their flooding...”, he told his city.

He is at it again. When a local 3-day old baby got stolen from a municipal hospital and the mother sued the city government for neglecting to secure the premises, Mr. Phatak reached deep into his arsenal, bent backwards and pulled yet another fast one from his quiverful of crap. “…Even in developed world like Canada, US and Norwegian countries, there are instances of baby theft which happen even annually…”.

So no matter what you bring up against the city government’s inefficiencies or corruption, the man who runs Mumbai’s municipality will cite a foreign city defense that will steal your desi pride and push you into a deep dark manhole of disgust and anger about the entire system. I have a feeling that cleaning up Mumbai’s public officials would get rid of some of its monsoon flooding faster than cleaning up the city’s sewers. In fact, throwing those officials out of their inefficient stupor may just do the trick. And to quote the erudite commissioner himself, some foreign cities and countries have done exactly that to clean up their acts.

Mar

18

A Gandhi, a hindu, and an Indian

March 18, 2009 posted by indiatime | 7 Comments

A young wannabe politician piggybacking on his family name, enters the political arena for the first time, and creates a controversy to win some name recognition. It is a great PR move on part of the forgotten Gandhi family branch that, a mere thirty years ago, was expected to further one of modern India’s longest dynasties, had fallen out of luck since then, and is again hoping to rise from the ashes of obscurity. Controversies are always good. For once, they do not continue to be so once they fade away. For the people behind however, they are worth millions of advertising and marketing money.

After making what was perceived as a hateful speech that riles emotions of a group of people, Varun Gandhi, the son of the forgotten Gandhi family branch, now drummed up as a scion of the Gandhi family, defended himself by declaring that he was a Gandhi, a Hindu and an Indian first. While he left out his second tier of identity after those three glorious adjectives, he also pulled a classic modern defense that has become a hallmark of politicians whom the modern technology has caught red-handed, recording or filming their controversial statements for posterity. “…The CD was doctored….”, said the young firebrand leader, “…(people have tried to put words in my mouth), what I have not said is put out there as something that I said….”. In a world where technology can work almost any wonder, and where CDs and DVDs are doctored and engineered every minute, such defense comes shrink-wrapped in plausibility and deniability. How can anyone suspect what can, in most circumstances, can be hard to prove, or could take months if not years to whet out.

Mindless extremism claimed the life of another politician almost 60 years ago, who probably said the same line in reverse order. He was an Indian, a Hindu and then a Gandhi. To be more precise, he was an Indian, a Hindu and the Gandhi. The legacy that Varun gandhi is speaking about is more a Nehru legacy which itself piggybacked on the Gandhian legacy of the Gandhi who died sixty years ago.

But family names can mean much.

Ask Lalit Modi, another newsmaker, and yet another scion of another famed family is a regular on Indian television, practically ruling the private side of India’s most public sports. Twenty years ago, he would have been languishing in a North Carolina jail, convicted of kidnapping, assault and cocaine possession. Thanks to his family fortune, he escaped the jailtime, and managed to extricate himself out of the United States on health grounds, requesting the courts that returning home to India would facilitate his recovery.

Ask Rahul mahajan, another newsmaker, and yet another scion of another famed family, a regular on Indian television, a ubiquitous reality show participant and judge. He parlayed his family’s political fame and name to get out of the cocaine controversy and his secretary’s drug overdose death mess. Now he sits in the reality show judge’s chair, judging 8 and 9-year old children who sing and dance in front of him on national television.

Yes, they will all recover from their messes. In a country that places high premium on family names, such things do matter. Otherwise, I too, am an Indian, a Hindu and a nobody.

Mar

17

Survival of the spittest

March 17, 2009 posted by indiatime | 11 Comments

India is going to the polls. That means new alliances, unusual bedfellows and incredible ideological unions are in order. And that also means media madness and frenzy about India’s real celebrities - politicians.

I shouldn’t have been surprized, but I almost fell off my couch a while ago, watching a TV correspondent interview a young politician from the incredible state of Bihar. The politician, clad in pearl white khadi clothes sat in his chair surrounded by an army of cronies. Answering the newsman’s question about a recently announced alliance, he spoke and chewed, double-dutying his mouth, his hoarse words of political wisdom wrapped in red-colored betel-paan-spit. After managing to compile a pile of a sentence with some difficulty, the TV camera still on him, he spit at his own feet, almost in the face of the TV newsman. No, it wasn’t an act of defiance or dare; or an expression of rudeness or contempt. This is just how things are this side of the planet.

One would hope that a people’s representative, on national television, would have the sense to clear his mouth of any chewing-tobacco or betel-leaves before speaking to the national media. Then again, one would hope that a nation that wants to call itself the century’s rising superpower would have the sense not to have such slimy slumlords as people’s representatives. Much of India’s future promise rests at the feet of the representatives who will occupy the parliament house beginning this summer. And much of the parliament house population this summer is similar to this particular slimeball, spitting at their own feet, and spitting in people’s faces.

These paan-chewing pols will soon be protected at millions of dollars each at the Indian taxpayers’ expense. They will soon rewrite our laws, flaunt our constitution, remap and rezone the real estate landscape, print treasury bills at their farmhouses, and will move around amongst us as celebrities, cutting the ribbons at blind schools and lecturing the nation on security and terrorism. What is even worse is that the majority of politicians who seek to become Indian people’s representatives this summer, will have substantial criminal backgrounds, proven prison records, and long rap sheets. Many of them are the scums within us who ought not to be out of the slammer if there is to be some hope outside of it.

To vote for such scums would amount to aiding and abetting their crimes. To not vote for anyone would be tantamount to giving up. It’s just hard to make a choice when ‘none of the above’ is not an option. It is imperative that model citizens with conscience, soon start flooding the political system, outweighing the balance in favor of the righteous. That would seem to be the only way for India to spit out the political betel-leaves it’s been chewing and ruminating on for so long.

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