Feb

25

Where can Musharraf go?

February 25, 2008 posted by indiatime |

Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf is said to have been thinking about an exit strategy for several days now. There were runmors a few days ago that he might want to leave soon, but today’s reports show that Musharraf isn’t going anywhere yet. Part of Musharraf’s problem is that he can’t decide where to go. Having done nothing else but dictating for last several years, it will be a big change for him to be in a position wher he has to take dictation from others. So to help him sort through all the options, here is my list of suggestions for Musharraf’s post-dictatorial careers:

1. Join the Indian Cricket League:
ICL is hiring and the money isn’t bad either. And there are so many similarities between Cricket and dicatorships. There’s not much to do, no real responsibilities. One can badmouth others at will, and the ego trips are free.

2. Become a real estate developer in Mumbai:
People from other professions have been making this jump in recent days, and with his military connections, Musharraf already has the guns and ammunition that a real estate developer in Mumbai needs. Plus he is used those life-threatening phone calls that a Mumbai real estate developer has to attend to.

3. Replace Shah Rukh Khan as the host of Who’s smarter than your fifth-grader:
It would be a good idea to make the distinction and show everyone who definitely isn’t.

4. Join Kashmir independence movement:
Over last several years, Musharraf has invested a lot in the Kashmir area. All the money and arms and support that he supplied to his Kashmir separatist buddies…they can definitely oblige him with a house in the valley. What are good friends for, anyways?

5. Become a don in Dubai:
Musharraf has all the experience, financing, ammunition, arms, stooges, all the paraphernalia that a Dubai don needs to start business. The infrastructure is in place, the money is good, and there isn’t much of a learning curve, at least not for him.

6. Become the CEO of Micro-Hoo:
Musharraf has been showing a lot of interest in online and internet market, especially with his ban on Youtube. Having declared his apathy for Google’s Youtube, Musharraf may be positioning himself to become the chief of rival giant Micro-Hoo since they need some dictatorial genius to take them past Google’s young guns.

7. Enter the US presidential race:
With consumer advocate Ralph Nader entering the US presidential race, the race is suddenly wide open. This may be Musharraf’s big chance to quickly set a meeting up with ‘Meet the Press’ anchor Tim Russert and announce his candidacy. Plus he has more supporters in the US than in Pakistan. As for an outsider not being able to become a US president, Musharraf is too well versed in the art of changing constitution. He has years of experience in that field.

8. Get a job at Beijing Olympics:
China owes this to Musharraf. China has always shown a willingness to support Pakistan’s dictators and they can oblige him with some odd job at one of the Olympic arenas. Maybe the shooting range or something. The pay is good and Musharraf can take home as many lead toys for his grandkids as he can.

9. Join old bordertown friends, chill and hang out:
As much as Musharraf wants to do this, he is never gonna. Because that would tip everyone off as to the whereabouts of some old friends. Plus he won’t get to use all those nice suits if he becomes a cave-man spending nights playing cards with friends in the border mountains.

10. Become a Bollywood bad guy:
Bollywood hasn’t had a real bad guy in years. Plus with the new wave of historic movies, it would be refreshing to see Musharraf play say someone like crazy Mahmood of Ghazni or Aurangzeb or somebody like that. The pay is really good. If the movie gig doesn’t work out, Musharraf can be a judge on the Indian Idol. And then he might also contemplate becoming a TV news anchor in India. It would be a good thing for Musharraf’s tortured soul to get a few pointers on democracy 101.


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1 Comment so far

  1. Musharraf’s Future | DesiPundit on February 27, 2008 3:30 pm

    [...] has ten solid suggestions for Musharraf’s post-dictatorial future. They hold enough potential to attract even our own Indian politicians let alone a conniving [...]

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