Mar

31

Celsius 233

March 31, 2007 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

“…Books won’t stay banned. They won’t burn. Ideas won’t go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas…”
— Alfred Whitney Griswold (Essays on Education)

233 degrees celsius is the usual temperature at which paper burns. But in the legislative houses of Mumbai, paper was burning merely at 40 degrees celsius. After two other states had banned it, the Government of Maharashtra has now banned a book on sex education, a book that was part of the CBSE (Central Board of Seconday Education) curriculum. Only a few years ago, another book written about India’s warrior hero Shivaji, was banned. In fact, over last 50 years, several books have seen the wrath of Indian censors and are now no longer found in public circulation.

Banning anything takes care of the problem-at-hand on a temporary basis. But it never solves the root problem. Because, banning, by its very nature, also bans any attempt at reaching the real issue.

Books that inflame religious sentiments and catalyze communal riots, books that slander Indian national heroes, books that insinuate hideous speculations about the idols we revere, books that stretch and test our patience - tolerance - morals, books that sow dirty and naughty thoughts into the minds of our sweet innocent kids….

…Yes, some of these books or materials are extremely upsetting to us. Our first sentiment is to burn these books, vaporize the indecency, and shun the thought behind the dirt. But this is NOT how civilized societies and free minds are supposed to react. The reason we have a free speech-guaranteeing democracy is because we are supposed to be able to handle discord and dispute, with dignity and debate. Are we afraid of that debate? Is our moral ground so flimsy that we will lose it with a stack of threatening pages? Are we so uncertain of our history that mere speculations about national heroes are enough to zap our respect for the democracy THEY helped build?

Kill all these bans, I say. Most of these banned books get publicity and fame because of the ban, not because of their merit. Open those sex-ed books, and kids won’t go sex-crazy in the rev parties all over. Open up the books on national heroes, so we can take the high road, and still classily condemn the careless speculations and callous ramblings to the netherworld of obscurity, mediocrity and obsolescence!

The human mind reacts in a very funny way to such bans. The minute the sex-ed book was banned, I’m sure, the high-schoolers must have rushed to the bookstores to get their hands on any remaining copies. So if you want to ban anything, ban science and math books. Ban computer books. Ban Sanskrit books. The next thing you’ll see is our kids rushing to find the deep dark mysteries of mathematical theorems, scientific theories and computer algorithms!

Mar

30

Indian Idol, the elephant in the family room!

March 30, 2007 posted by indiatime | 1 Comment

Remember the Chandamama comics? Chandama always had a story about a village lad wandering into a city, suddenly finding himself in front of the royal elephant who then puts the garland of monarchy around his neck, and then the village lad becomes a popular king, gets married, has kids and lives happily ever after. The reality TV of today is like that royal elephant, who puts village and city lads and lasses, into international spotlight.

The crown prince of those reality shows - Indian Idol, is coming back - again. With a new host, some new judges, and a new backdrop, Indian Idol is all set to blow the rest of the musical reality TV to faint notes.

So whatever happened to the idols of the last 2 seasons? Where are they now? Abhijeet Sawant and Sandeep Acharya got their 15 minutes of fame each and have now joined the ranks of countless other B-singers who adorn the musical nights of the Indian metros, especially during religious and cultural festivities. It is quite likely, though, that they could cross that B-line and move up to the Bollywood playback arena once their contract with Sony is through.

In spite of knowing that they will become slaves to contractual obligations for years to come, youngsters all over India are scrambling to stand in lines for days to audition for the next musical superstardom. For many of them, this is seemingly their one and only opportunity, a chance of a lifetime, a gold rush adventure. They come from all states. They come in all varieties and colors. They’re tall and short ones, the courageous ones and the crybabies, and the slim and the fat ones. For most, however, the chance of making it to the finals is itslef a slim and fat one, as well.

And what about you and me and all of us who can’t sing? Some of us hate these shows, some of us want to leave town until the Idol season is done with, and some of us just can’t have enough of it. But none of us can avoid experiencing the spectacle of this reality TV blockbuster. Because, for us, Indian Idol is like that Chandamama elephant right in the middle of our family rooms!

Mar

29

The Spin doctors of AIIMS

March 29, 2007 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

doc·tored
To alter or modify for a specific end

All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), India’s premier health institute, is under a clout after families alleged that their loved ones were infected by HIV through bloood transfusions at the AIIMS. A similar case has come to light at Safdarjung hospital, another famous health facility in the capital.

AIIMS uses the antigen testing method, which can detect the presence of HIV in about 16 days since a person is infected. It should be easily possible to figure out, if the window between the blood transfusion and the HIV detection was 16 days or more. Mere accusations by upset family members won’t change the facts. So in all fairness, AIIMS may not be responsible for this one, and on the other hand, they may very well be.

Here is the tricky part. The medical superintendent of AIIMS, Shakti Gupta, denied the family’s accusation outright, saying that “…there is zero chance of HIV infection at AIIMS…blood transfusion at our institute is 100 percent reliable…”.

That ‘zero’ chance thing is a very flimsy and fishy argument. The HIV diagnostic methods are NEVER EVER 100% correct. The rate of false positives is 0.0007% and the rate of false negatives is 0.003%. So, there do exist cases of healthy people being diagnosed falsely, or HIV-infected people being given a clean chit.

For the medical superintendent to claim that AIIMS can just not make a mistake is total baloney. Ask any doctor, or any health professional working in any hospital in India, and they will tell you that it is not THAT uncommon for hospitals to make mistakes, and it is really not THAT uncommon that the hospital records are doctored. Get it? Doctored!. Not just the patient records, but the statistical data, preventive health data, and a lot of census information can be manipulated or tailored (or doctored) as per the needs.

What should a reputed facility like AIIMS do in the face of such accusations?

Open the process up to oversight, scrutiny, & investigate thoroughly, if necessary. Communicate with the patients’ families. Talk to the public. Come out of your ivory towers. Face the music. If your case does indeed hold water, good for you! But if it doesn’t, strip down your aprons, and give us a hundred thousand pushups. And then, go apologise to your innocent victims!

Mar

28

Flirting with disaster in Indian farmlands

March 28, 2007 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

The world-wide media coverage of a busful of kids being kidnapped by a school principal Philippines, to demand free education and facilities for the kids, brings an important point to light. That squeaky wheel always gets the grease.

For several years, Indian farmers in Maharashtra and the western states have been demanding attention to their plight, by committing suicides one after another. So far, the farmers have been content taking their own lives. How far is the day when the frustration in the farmland boils over to violence, and terrorism? How far, do you think, is the day, when the rest of the society starts falling victim to the anger and helplessness amongst these farmers? How far is the day, when the farmers turn into naxalites and terrorists?

So, do we wait to address their plight, until they take up arms in action? What an appalling case of shortsightedness for government organizations that are sensitive to even an eybrow raised by big business, but look the other way when the farmers euthanize themselves!

The next time western farmlands of India see a farmer die of anger and fomenting frustration, the news may very well mention that he took a few of us with him, too.

Mar

28

For Bollywood, piracy begins at home!

March 28, 2007 posted by indiatime | 4 Comments

The Indian music industry is speaking out against the epidemic of piracy that is draining money away from the entertainment industry. “…Bollywood makes more films than Hollywood, yet its revenue is only 2% as compared to Hollywood…due to piracy, the loss amounted to $186 million in 2006…”, said Vijay Lazarus, president of Indian Music Industry Association.

Look who’s talking.

I have no doubt that the argument against piracy is legitimate and true. But there’s an old saying in our country - People who live in glass houses shouldn’t be throwing stones at others.

For last almost a hundred years now, Bollywood, and the Indian music industry (especially of the popular variety), have been stealing right and left from everywhere else. Movie after movie made in Bollywood steals plots, screenplays, shots, camera angles, dialogs, and background scores from Hollywood. Thousands of Bollywood songs over last fifty years, have come from Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, and the American Billboards.

Stealing? “…We’re just generally basing our productions on their ideas…”, Bollywod has been saying thus far. WRONG! When you do not give credit to the original movies or music scores, when you do not even care to mention the names of people whose ideas have made your pathetic plagiaristic careers, when you conveniently forget the Hollywood movies or novels that gave you your stupid blockbusters in India, YOU HAVE BEEN STEALING!

Barring some rare exceptions, Bollywood has generally blossomed on the original ideas from the west. Blockbusters like Sholay (Once Upon a Time in the Wild West), heavenly music from RK banners (Mozart symphony no. 40), our oscar contenders like Lagaan (Escape to Victory), each of these and several others, took tunes, shots, plots from Hollywood, without ever, ever giving credit wherever and whenever it was due. So, mute up you, Indian entertainment Industry! Clean your own Alibaba’s cave first! Confess the sins of your peers! Look inside to find out which organized crime rings are funding your members!

And what happens if the piracy goes away for good? You would think the public might end up spending an extra few bucks here and there. But what would they spend their honest bucks on? Haha, because if the piracy goes away, Bollywood sure will have to shut down their shop!

Mar

27

A new day has come

March 27, 2007 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

A new day has come
A new day has come
I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
- Celine Dion

When Balasaheb Thackeray makes a plea for peace, you drop everything in your hands and take notice. And wonder. Am I watching Sarkar or Munnabhai? Is this a new day or what?

Balasaheb is a cricket fan. He has always been. And believe you me, he is upset and angry. And he did express that feeling as well. But it is his love and affection for the master blaster that is going to save a whole lot of other cricketers from the public’s wrath. And the reason this particular plea for peace and calm, is relevant because, its maker can not only advocate peace, but bloody damn well establish it as well.

So all you Mumbaikars out there, take notice. Stay inside. And don’t ever tell anyone that you live at a stone’s throw from Sachin’s house.

Mar

27

Moving violations in Delhi?

March 27, 2007 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

“……Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac…..
- Author Unknown

Today, the Delhi high court made some bold moves towards new rules to address traffic woes in the Indian capital. Here’s a sample:

- no smoking
- no using mobile phones while driving
- musical horns banned
- child labor banned in public buses
- increased speeding fines for speeding, not stopping, illegal honking etc.

And now here are the common ingredients of the corruption curry:

- public that has little regard for civic discipline
- traffic conditions that incentivize creative driving
- traffic rules that are known only to a select few
- very low salaries for traffic police

So, two things can happen with this new set of rules:
1. Delhi traffic cleans up
2. The take-home salary for the capital police goes up

So it’s a win-win situation, whichever way you look at it!

Mar

27

Several months ago, an Indian businessman, Deepak Jahagirdar was handed an 87-month sentence for sexual assault on the passenger sitting next to him on the plane. (His appeal last year was not successful.)

Also Last year, several Indian software engineers were caught, soliciting sex from minors, in a sting operation by the NBC network. Whatever reputation silicon valley Indians had built over more than a decade, a few rotten apples in the business were enough to put a negative spotlight on the entire group of hard-working Indian Americans.

Sneaky attempts by some visiting Indian maestros to solicit favors from their female American students, do real disservice to the majority of the maestros, whose behavior invites nothing else but respect and reverence.

Just over a week ago, a famous Indian designer Anand Jon was arrested on charges of sexual assault and molestation. Whether those allegations are proved true or not, the talented designers and musicians who work the New York circuit are nevertheless maligned by such happenings.

Just 2 days ago, an Indian student in Australia was arrested in New South Wales, for allegedly kidnapping 2 young girls, 7 and 9 years of age, and assaulting the 9-year old.

99.99 percent of Indian immigrants lead peaceful, crime-free, productive and exemplary lives. For a few of us, however, that life seems to be taking a treacherous and lecherous path!

Mar

27

Apocalypso! End of Indian cricket as we know it!

March 27, 2007 posted by indiatime | 1 Comment

a·poc·a·lypse
cosmic cataclysm, disaster
Ca·lyp·so
music originating from West Indies

The financial cost of India’s exit from the 2007 world cup is being felt by businesses who had invested heavily in the advertising time, pinning their hopes on a great performance by the homeboys. Those millions poured into the advertising pot, have started looking like fool’s gold now. India, the business capital of cricket, has lost with such misery, shame and embarrassment, and that too in the first round itself, that the expensive rugs in business offices have started coming off of the cricket board’s feet.

Cricket in India, is probably about to get a taste of what the other Indian sports know already. When the money pits dry up for any sport, that sport will lose the glitter, the glamor, the media exposure, the popularity and eventually the public’s interest.

Let’s hope this disaster stops the bankrolling of cricket. Let’s hope that this shocking bolt of electricity zaps the foolish funding that has destroyed the gamesmanship, the fun, and the spirit of the game.

The disappearance of business interests might once again make cricket, the game of glorious uncertainties, that it once was. The bettings, match-fixings, and the incredible monetization had turned it into a predictable certainty for the benefit of a few. When those evil bankers - the moneylenders disguised as fans, leave the good game, cricket can once again start banking on its real bankers - the Indian public!

Mar

26

Sanjaya Malakar, the 17-year old Indian American teenager who has reached the top ten of the American Idols competition, broke through the glass ceiling alright. But here’s what a lot of Indian Americans are thinking - maybe the wrong person got through that glass ceiling! Sanjaya’s wow factor has now faded, his depth or rather the lack of it has been exposed, and overnight, he has become somewhat of a joke on the blogs, on the forums, in the newspapers, and on television.

Only a year ago, literary theft by another famous Indian teenager Kavya Viswanathan cast a dark shadow on hundreds of other bright and talented Indian Amercian teen writers. Turned out that Kavya’s novel ‘How Opal Mehta got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life’ contained several word-to-word paragraphs copied from Megan McCafferty’s novels.

Sanjaya and Kavya are both bright and talented youngsters. They both come from very talented, loving, and caring families. They both are second-generation Americans standing tall on the hard work, and sacrifices of their earlier generation. But they both may also be victims of that earlier generation’s ambitions.

In years to come, Sanjaya may indeed turn out to be a good singer, and Kavya may indeed turn out to be a great writer. But in the haste to make it big for them, their families may have done a little disservice to them, by pushing them into something they aren’t ready for yet.

There are thousands of other desi teenagers in the USA, who are more deserving of attention, and applause. Unfortunately, in the fast-paced world of blogs and TV-punditry, the spotlight has fallen on these desi teens, who may not be the best representatives of their peers.

So what can the NRIs do for Sanjaya? For his own good, they need to stand down, put their cell phones away, and not SMS for Sanjaya, this coming Tuesday night. Otherwise, the farther he goes in Idol competition, it’s just more fodder for the late night comedy shows!

Mar

25

Musharraf meets his maker - Krishna!

March 25, 2007 posted by indiatime | 9 Comments

rana1.jpgOnly a week ago, rumors were flying high as to the whereabouts of Rana Bhagwandas. A 65 year old Pakistani citizen born in India during the year of the quit India movement, Rana’s going missing turned a litle more mysterious when a BBC reporter disclosed that he was on a personal visit to India. Turns out Mr Rana was meditating in an ashram in north India, near Lucknow.

By any standards, that’s already newsworthy. But Rana Bhagwandas is no ordinary Pakistani. Until very recently, he used to be the only Hindu member of Pakistan’s supreme court. As of yesterday, however, he has become the 20th chief justice of Pakistan’s supreme court, only the second non-muslim person to hold that distinction. (The first was a christian - Alvin Robert Cornelius who held the chief justice post in Pakistan from 1960-68).

Not surprisingly, there was opposition to Rana’s appointment. With Pakistan’s constitution almost integrally bound to the religious texts, a Hindu ruling over Islamic religious text issues is a first one for Pakistan.

But being a Hindu chief judge in an islamic country is not Rana Bhagwandas’s only challenge. He is taking over at a time, when the previous chief judge has been forced out of his office by the military leader Mr Musharraf.

There are several internal wars going on in Pakistan. Between the judiciary and the military. Between the moderates and the radical islamists. Between the good guys and the not-so-good guys. Mr Bhagwandas’s visit to the Lucknow ashram is said to have involved the meditation of Bhagawat gita - the foremost hindu religious text - Lord Krishna’s monologue on the battlefield of Mahabharata. (That’s no surprise. The literal meaning of Bhagwandas is servant of Lord Krishna).

The final chapter of Bhagwat Gita opens up with the great warrior Arjuna asking Lord Krishna about renunciation (sanyaas). With Musharraf not quite inclined to renunciating his stranglehold on power in Pakistan yet, it remains to be seen how a Hindu god’s influence changes things in the most radically Islamic state of our times!

Mar

24

What is an FIR?

It is the information recorded by the police officer on duty, given either by the aggrieved person or any other person about the commission of an alleged offence. On the basis of the F.I.R. the police commences its investigation.

One of the often-heard complaints in India, is that the police, in many cases, for reasons known only to them, under pressure from someplace, or because of some technicalities, would not register the complaint. Everyday one sees a few dozen cases in the newspapers, where the the initial inactivity or lethargy of the police, balloons into a bigger or worse offense by the perpetrating party later on.

Legally, any person can file the first information report, and need not even have a first-hand knowledge of the incidence. The police officer’s role is merely to reduce the complaint in writing and file the report.

Here is a simple solution. No idea why we haven’t implemented this nationally yet.

Why not open up the FIR registration online to the general public? It will help in several ways:

1. Every complaint will be registered and filed
2. Nobody can erase the complaint as it wil be stored in secure system with multiple backups
3. People, especially old people or women, won’t have to travel long distances to register complaints
4. More free time for police to actually investigate the crime rather than get bogged down in paperwork
5. Higher-ups can easily see the status for any case anywhere in a fraction of a second
6. Such FIR databases can be tied up to the national criminal databsaes
7. In cases of missing children, national alerts can be generated automatically
8. In cases of absconding perpetrators, alarms can be sounded off instantly
9. less chances of people attacking and burning police stations later on

FIRs are the first touchpoints of the ordinary citizen with the justice system in this country. Loosen that link and what you have is a disconnect.

What good, then, are our information superhighways, if we can’t set ourselves free from a bullock-cart-speed paper-pushing paan-chewing afternoon-siesta-enjoying khoka-peti bureaucracy?

Mar

24

I told you so

March 24, 2007 posted by indiatime | Leave a Comment

I have already said enough, so I’m not going to say a single new word about Cricket anymore. During the last month, I wrote about our fake gods of cricket and challenged our ‘bratsmen’ to move their fat asses and earn their salaries.

Enough said. For the next world cup, let’s send our women’s team. Those women are smart, beautiful, and a million times better cricketers than these inept, pompous, do-nothing idiots that we call our national team.

Mar

23

Cricket’s worst moment

March 23, 2007 posted by indiatime | 2 Comments

This has to be the worst moment, the lowest point in the history of the sport of Cricket. Bob Woolmer, Pakistan’s national coach was found murdered at the world cup of cricket, and the police are looking for someone close to him, a player, an old cricketing friend, a team member.

It has been theorized that Woolmer’s murder was probably related to a book he had been writing about cricket. Someone was definitely worried that Woolmer was going to expose some names in the book. And seems like they couldn’t afford that.

Nobody knows yet if any Pakistani citizen is involved in this cowardly act. If that turns out to be the truth, it will be another sad and stark reminder of the perplexingly different paths taken by the two children of a common motherland. Looking at Pakistan today, one can’t help but wonder if the Muslim leadership of the then India would have made the same decisions. What an anitithetical milestone this is for Pakistan.

And what a sad commentary on the cricket control boards that have known about the scandals rocking cricket for years now. What a shame. When politics and greed and money become part of anything, they muddle the waters and pollute the air. Yes, we knew that already. What’s hard for us to imagine is that the hands that held the bats and the balls may well have been the hands that strangled an unsuspecting coach’s neck.

Mar

23

The art of Indian phonography

March 23, 2007 posted by indiatime | 5 Comments

Yes, you read it right. And I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I DO mean phonography. It is the art of using field recordings to create works of art.

Indian phonography goes way back to the universe-pervading eternal mystique sound of AUM. Most of our religious texts or prayers start with that sound. It is the monosyllable that is the sound of the universal energy, the sound that emanates from the humdrum of the rotating planetary bodies and from the dark depths of the black holes of the universe.

So here are some of my nominations for the best Indian phonography on the web:

From the beautiful collections of wildtracks.be.

From Adriano Zani : Indian Ocean

From India Sounds: Documentary and Recordings by Anders Dahl.

From Ravishankar Shrivastava,

From www.harappa.com,

And for those of you, who don’t give a hoot about the universal sound, but seem to think of their purpose in the universe to have fun anf frolic, I leave you lucky dogs with this crazy frog rendition from India -

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